love and war

if you have read my blog for any length of time - you know i had a sincere and enduring relationship with my paternal grandmother. she has been gone a little over two years and i still carry a deep love for and connection with her. i find myself thinking of her often. daily even.

grandma had a unwavering devotion to her family. ALL of her family. i have said it before - she helped raise several nieces and nephews - in addition to my dad and his brother. we had a family christmas party/reunion every year when i was growing up at her brother's home - their parent's 'home place.' we called it The Brown Christmas Tree - as her maiden name was Brown. so her siblings got together. their kids and their kid's kids. and so on and so forth.

and thanks to this annual holiday celebration, i got to know cousins i might never have otherwise even met. kooky, crazy cousins i could deny genealogy with in front of a crowd with a straight face. other kooky, crazy cousins i wouldn't trade for nothing. my cousins. my generation. our parents were first cousins. our grandmothers were sisters. our great grandparents - the same.

one group of cousins escaped up to north mississippi. my dad's first cousins. a certifiable bunch - if you know what i mean. attorneys, a judge, tenured college professors. i've always thought of them as the crazy north mississippi family branch. i have never ever wanted to know how they thought of my family down south. their kids - my age and a bit younger. okay - some a lot younger...

over the years, i kept up with them through my dad. through christmas cards and letters to my grandma. a few college football game tail-gating parties (State Sucks!) and now - through my own christmas cards and the beauty of technology - email and blogs.

i have always thought of this group of cousins as gorgeous, educated, talented, athletic, poised and a butt-load of fun. OMG! are they fun! and did i mention mischievous? you can count on there always being something (probably a bottle rocket) up at least one or two sleeves!!!!!
i remember sitting with one of my dad's first cousins at my grandmother's wake - me 10 1/2 months pregnant (big as the side of the barn) and him telling me dirty jokes. no kidding. and me laughing so dang hard it's a wonder i didn't pop that boy out right there on the parlor floor. we got several dirty looks from others in attendance. but had my grandmother been sitting with us, she would have been carrying on too!

i wish so desperately i could tell you their names - they are notorious in their parts. it has been so fun for me through the years when i meet people from north mississippi. the conversation always went something like this...

ME: "i have some family up in North Mississippi. you might know them."
THEM: "really? who?" (them thinking "yeah, right - like i know everyone in itawamba county, mississippi")
ME: "Do you know the Hatcoys*?"
THEM: EVERY SINGLE TIME - "uh, yeah - i know OF them."

i don't recall a single person ever claiming to actually KNOW them. but EVERYONE knew OF them.
i don't know why - but that was always so much fun for me...
* names changed to protect the guilty...

there is a point to this story. one of these young, beautiful, intelligent, athletic and mischievous cousins is in a bit of a fix. you see, she is a marine lance corporal, 2nd intel bn. injured in iraq last month - a week before she was scheduled to return state-side. she is now in the hospital in bethesda.

it was some sort of vehicular accident - i don't have the details. don't really need them. all i need to know and care to tell you is that my kin - my family - my blood - this young woman serving her country - MY COUNTRY - is injured and is fighting a very serious battle for her recovery.

and i do not doubt for a second she will recover. i know she will. i do not waiver in my faith of the eventual outcome. i am, however, concerned for her well being and the stress and strain she is under. i detest that she is in so much pain. i fret a bit about the virulent bacteria that is running it's evil course through her already ravaged body - i confess this. but i am not the least bit worried as i KNOW she will come through this with flying colors. and make no mistake - those flying colors are RED WHITE &BLUE.

the family calls her JR. she will be 27 in October. and while i haven't spent time with her since we were kids - she's one of the ones we heard a lot about down our way. she played HIGH SCHOOL football. with the boys. she was the punter. and tough as nails.

her sister, AR, has kept us updated on her progress via emails. and in these emails, she has regaled us with stories of JR when they were growing up. 'it's never dull' seems to be a theme in the Brown family blood line - let's just say that.

while this is not my story, it is my family. JR is not out of the woods. she is still struggling. the following excerpt is from an email her sister sent me earlier this week.

"JR has a resistant form of bacteria, called VRE. This bacteria is naturally found in the body but when you've been on antibiotics for so long the bacteria becomes resistant. One in three infections in the Intensive Care Units are caused by VRE. This is sorta common, and is easily treated. BUT, the results of the VRE is lots of vomiting and diarrhea. Poor JR is having it all, plus she had a new drain tube put in through her ribs.
JR is in a lot of pain. In order for the doctors to ease this for her, the pain meds knock her out. She thinks that is good thing, but then she does not eat or get up and move around. Eating and moving help build up her strength. So the doctors do not want her to sleep all the time. The pain specialist wants to place an epidural on her right side (liver side) to help give JR some pain relief. This way she will be awake and not in pain.
I was able to talk to JR for few minutes on Thursday night. She is worn out from all the pain, nausea, vomiting and more pain. The phrase "Sick and tired of being sick and tired," is how I would put her attitude. I just keep reassuring her that she is going to be just fine and out of the hospital soon. She is miserable in that hospital room. Like an animal in a cage, she just wants out.
JR's pneumonia is getting better, but she is still on supplemental oxygen. Since she has the VRE, everyone who enters her room has to wear sterile gown and gloves.
The 24th will be a month that JR has been at Bethesda."

regardless of your political beliefs (and mine) - our young (and not so young) people are serving, fighting, sustaining injuries - some dying. but thankfully most, like JR, are on the road to recovery.

and she will eventually read this entry - or so i am told.

i want her to know how button-popping proud i am to call her family.
then, now and always.

JR's aunt bill (what all the nieces and nephews called my Grandma) taught us all the importance of family. and aunt bill would be busting at the seams with pride over JR's service to her country. i know i am.

so now i ask you to send her your best. tell her - with your words and your sentiments - how thankful Americans are for people like her. how folks on the world wide web she doesn't even know are pulling for her to get better.

but let me caution you now - when she does recuperate - and is back to herself - steer clear. there ain't no telling what that girl will be up to...