26 years later

NOTE: i wrote the vast majority of this post weeks ago - right after i returned from vacation. due to circumstance and emotion, i am just now finding the wherewithal to publish it. your patience is greatly appreciated.

26 years later....
and the little girl in me remembers telling him good bye in my parents' kitchen and wondering when or if i would ever see him again. thinking then, even as child, that i likely would not.

and last week - there we stood in the exact same kitchen - with our spouses, my children and it was so overwhelming emotionally i thought i might suffocate. yes, the little girl in me still has a great deal of puppy love for the little boy in him.

and now - as a grown woman relating to a grown man, i adore him. i respect him. i admire the hell out of him. i love him as one life-long friend loves another. (and i find it very hard right at this moment in time to write about this without tearing up.)

it was an amazing reunion on so many levels.

when we pulled up to my parents house last week, he and his wife were already there. my childhood sweetheart (CS) was in the front yard with my daddy. i could see his face. tense. taunt. nervous. anxious.

i did not assume this was about seeing me - but from being back in the place where the abuse of his childhood began. of breathing the same air. standing on the same soil, again. i hugged his lovely wife. my mom and dad and then worked over to him. he was so serious. "hi t_cole" and then BAM - the biggest, bestest bear hug i've had in a long, long time.

i knew he wanted to be there. i knew he had been so HUGELY excited about making the trip. but i also knew how hard it would be for him. i just wanted to be there for him as he made this emotional journey. to support and buoy him. it was a vacation but it was also therapy - for ALL of us. i was really anxious myself - about how to accomplish this - be there for CS - while at the same time not allowing an environment that would make my hubby or his wife (CSW) uncomfortable.

i did not wish to distance myself from my hubby nor did i wish to impose myself between CS and CSW. i expected a challenge in accomplishing this goal. no such challenge ever surfaced. the relationship that evolved between the two couples was nothing less than wonderful.

at the end of the week, my hubby paid CSW the highest compliment ever. i asked him if he had enjoyed spending time with them. i got a quick 'yes' answer. he said "i really liked CSW - she's like a Canadian t_cole." not a nicer thing could have been spoken...

his wife and i hit it off HUGELY. the more we talked and laughed and got to know each other, the more we found we had in common. the more i loved her. and appreciated her. if she's like me - then i LOVE being like her!

by the end of the week, when it was time for them to leave - i could hardly speak. i couldn't even say good bye when we hugged. but a noticeable transformation had taken place in CS. he was no longer tense and anxious. he was relaxed. calm. peaceful, even.

it was a good trip. a good week. a once in a life time experience.

KC told me recently that i appear to have led a charmed life. i have reflected on her comment a great deal over several weeks. and while there have been times i would contradict her assertion, the evidence is just too overwhelming.

me. my life. charmed, indeed.

post note - i have tried three different times today to add pictures to this post with no success...