I HATE SATURDAYS!

and how.
you know why, right - there's no SCHOOL!

and hubby has new job that requires him to work on Saturdays.
so it's me against the three.

and today i had to run errands. Mall - new school shoes for both girls - at lunch time - had to eat where they could watch the ice skating rink. brother strapped into stroller. do NOT let him out since i lost him that time at Nordstrom's Rack. He doesn't like it but seems to understand and accept his fate.

and then WalMart. I effing HATE WalMart. but with the kids - i could make ONE stop and get everything i needed. which is immensely better than three or four stops. trust me on this.

and i have IBS (look it up). and it hit me about 7 minutes b/f we got to walmart. so here i am. having to find a parking place - in a 10 acre lot, get three small kids unbuckled, shepherded and not run over into the store without arguing or forgetting anyone and me to the bathroom before my guts erupted all over... well... everything. Thankfully we made it. to the bathroom. My kids wallered around on the floor in the bathroom at walmart waiting for my spell to pass. Yes, i hosed them off and sprayed them with Lysol when i got them home.

and then the shopping adventure began. before it was over, i had brother strapped into the buggy and both girls assigned to their own side of the cart. they were not to look at each other, talk to each other, think about each other or so much as utter a sound that the other one could hear. I don't think there are two creatures on this earth that can annoy and antagonize each other more effectively and completely than my two daughters. in fact, i think they enjoy watching my eyes roll all the way back in my head, steam come out my ears and the HUGE self restraint I must exhibit in public when i don't beat the living S.H.I.T out of them for fear some do-gooder will call CPS on my arse.

I tell ya what, there are days when i'd PAY CPS to take these precious little darlings off my hands. they'd bring them right back in less than 12 hours. i am certain.

and you know - i was thinking today - if you hadn't always read my blog and didn't have a clue as to the type of Mom I really am and how i bend over backwards for my kids and this is just a phase - whereby they are driving me batty - one might wonder why i even had kids to be begin with...

So i thought I should come up with a list of why i had kids to begin with.

1. to prove i could do it. yep, wanted to make sure the female body was in working order as explained to me in BIO 101. it is. of course this does NOT explain why i had to prove it THREE times.

2. to have someone to take care of me in my old age. and i now know there's no chance in hell that any of these little rug rats will do that.

3. to appease my mother

4. to please my father

5. because i have always ALWAYS been the 'Mother Hen' of all my friends and it felt like a natural progression to have my own baby chicks.

6. i LOVE Pottery Barn Kids

7. because i LOVED weighing 700 pounds and not being able to sleep for 3 months straight. no. wait. that's why i didn't want to have kids. scratch that.

8. so i could dress them in all those cutesy little pink and blue outfits with the matching hats, bibs, socks and blankets. OMG are those little sets darling. Have a baby - invite me to your shower - you will get a matching set guaranteed.

9. to have someone to boss around. we all know what a control freak i am. how much more fun could you have - as a CF - than to be in control of three little lives.

and the top 10 reason why I had kids....

10. to produce and endless supply of wonder, excitement, love, challenge, sloppy kisses, neck hugs, squeezes (with grunts), mud pies, weed flower bouquets, boo boos to doctor, eyes to wipe, hearts to mend, lessons to teach, lesson to be learned, shoes to tie, clothes to wash, diapers to change, books to read, nights to worry and more joy than i even knew was possible in one person's heart. mine.

my girls are at the stage where they ask me if i love them. i tell them i love them more than i ever knew i could love a living creature.

my son is at the stage where he walks up to me unannounced and says "i wuv you."

i respond by asking him - "oh son, would you like the sun, the moon or the stars? oh here, darling - just have them all ."