voices inside my head...

I got my first iPod back in December.
And I love it. Have had more fun playing with it.

There have always been certain male singers that really Do It For Me.
And having them serenade me in my ear like this is really Doing It For Me.
Silly little thing. Yes, I Know.
But hey, it makes me very happy, et al. And I'll take all the happy, et al I can get.

Throughout my life there have been singers. voices. that to me, had an certain essence to them.
a sensual, feral characteristic that always appealed to me on a very visceral level.

in other words - listening to them really Does It For Me.

It's not their looks or necessarily, the lyrics. it is simply The Voice.

And who are these voices, you ask?


You might be surprised...

First is Steve Perry of Journey. Any song will do. I just happen to like this video...





Next, Dennis DeYoung original lead singer of Styx. LOVE him!
Again, no particular song. In fact, some of my favorite tunes from him are the lesser known ones that didn't get real air time and wouldn't make the Styx Greatest Hits album.




and wrapping up my list today is a newcomer, relatively speaking.

I have been an admiring fan of his acting for years. and due to that admiration, I had to see the movie Rent. and then I had to have the soundtrack. which is now on my ipod and Jesse L. Martin croons in my ears daily. and this guy - I do LIKE to look at. I like it a lot (blushing)



So there you have it.

the voices in my head.

and what they Do For Me...

40 and fabulous

or something like that.

I turn 40 next month.
hmm

trying to decide how I feel about this little milestone.
and trying to convince myself it's not really a big deal.
and is it?
really?
a big deal?

hubby asked me today what I want to do for my birthday. I told him I'd have to think about it and get back to him. (suggestions are appreciated)

we had a rather serious falling out about this birthday several months ago. I wanted to go on a cruise or to a tropical island with a handful of girlfriends. he pointed out that our family fund did not allow for such an opulent celebration. regretfully, he was right. (I'd never tell him that.)

He has now told me that anything he does for my 40th will not be enough. That it will not live up to my expectations. he got that right.

But I am pretty much over it now. Went on my cheap little cruise with a Fabu girlfriend. A few more of us girls are getting together in Houston in March to toast my 40th.
So I am good.

but what to do?
what to do....


My oldest daughter turns 9 in less than two weeks. We are taking her, sister and two friends to Medieval Times for the dinner and show. That will be a ton of fun - for all. Actually looking forward to it.

For my son's 4th birthday two weeks later we will be going to Chuck E Cheese. (shoot me now)

My second daughter's birthday is at the end of March and you'd think it was the most important gala of the season. We (she) change(s) plans on a regular basis - the one constant is that it will be themed after High School Musical. And I am to buy her "Cool-Girl Clothes" for her birthday.

So it's like birthday season at our house for the next few months.

poor hubby.
He just doesn't get birthdays and the significance that goes along with them.

and me?

I just don't know if I got it in me to Party Like A Rock Star.

I feel much more like an overweight, tired, disgruntled, middle-aged Mom.

And that, I am certain, is NOT fabulous.

my cruise - the recap...

I am beat down dog tired. in my bones.
wiped out could sleep all day for at least three days.

it's cliche - but i need a vacation to recover from my vacation.

and I did not party THAT hard. seriously, folks.



Work is kicking my butt. playing catch up. a lot of pressure at my job as of recent. learning a new software package and having to 'make my numbers' in support calls is sucking a great deal of joy out of my life. if you want to motivate me - hang a BIG FAT JUICY RAISE out there in front of me. don't count on metrics being a motivator for moi.
another day. another post.

About our cruise - several of you asked for a report because you are looking to do a cruise yourself some time in the future. So for you, first, the logistics:
I travelled with my lifelong girlfriend S. She just finished Grad School and was on the cruise for a prep course for her exams to be a Nurse Practitioner.
We have been best of friends - more like sisters - since we were 5-ish. We know each other inside and out - warts and all. So no matter what, we always ALWAYS have a good time together.

The cruise was dirt cheap - less than $350 each for a four day cruise.
Mobile, Alabama to Cozumel, Mexico.
Carnival Cruise Lines - our ship, The Holiday.

Let me also say - you get what you pay for.
That said, my expectations were probably too high.

To start off, when I looked up directions to the terminal the morning of our departure, I find that we would have to pay $60 to park for the four days. I thought that was a bit steep in MOBILE ALABAMA. And after we got on the boat - before we departed, we met a guy on the deck that points and says - "oh, you could have parked for free across the street over there." And sure enough, there were about 100 cars parked in the lot he pointed to.
Bummer, dude. When you are on a shoestring budget, every cent counts. In my mind, that cost us about 6 fruity rum filled cocktails...

The Carnival advertising tells you when pay for your cruise "virtually everything is included." It's the 'virtually' that gets you. If you don't drink alcohol, sodas or juice and don't play Bingo and don't want to buy any pictures of yourself - then Yes, 'virtually' is appropriate. Special note - the iced tea taste so bad, you are almost FORCED to drink sodas.

But trust me - they are going to - at every turn - work to get more $$ out of you. And I guess that's how they can charge so little for the cruise itself.
I just have this thing about being nickel'd and dime'd. I'd rather pay one big fat fee up front and drink and eat and play all I want.

I am not dissing Carnival. They did a decent job. And I confess ignorance.

Our cabin was clean and cozy. The beds were really comfortable - and I ought to know as I travel and stay in hotels on a pretty regular basis for work. I never once woke up with my back hurting - and THAT is saying something. I have a sleep number bed at home and almost always ache when I sleep in different beds. So that was a HUGE plus to me. I could sleep late and not hurt the rest of the day.

The walls were paper thin between cabins. I had thought ahead and brought ear plugs so this was a non-issue for me. However I can see how it might be a problem for others...

Our cabins were cleaned at least twice a day - we always had clean towels and almost always had ice in our cabin - without having to ask. Bonus.

The staff on the boat was well above average in level of service. I would not say exceptional - but still, very good. no complaints - they easily met all expectations.

Here's what disappointed me - the boat's interior was old and tired. Think Love Boat.

The pools (not that i got in one) were as big as some hot tubs I have been in. and they have an Ick Factor that defies explanation.

The food, overall, was mediocre. while not out and out bad, none of it was spectacular. I have always heard how fabulous the food is on a cruise. I was NOT impressed. at all. What they lacked in quality, they made up for in quantity. Food was always available.

As I have said before, I have travelled a ton over the past ten years - usually for business on an expense account. I have entertained customers on expense accounts. I am accustomed to eating at very nice restaurants. (Think Spago's, Ruth's Chris Steak House, Fogo de Chão, etc) so perhaps my expectations were too high. perhaps.

Someone was ALWAYS shoving a camera in your face to take your picture. this is one of my personal pet peeves. Obviously, this did not bother a lot of people as their smiling toothless redneck mugs could be spotted on the picture racks every morning.

Yes, this was a total redneck riviera cruise. i can say that because I R one. (this comes under the rule where family can talk about their own family - and since i AM a redneck - I can talk about them!)

I completely and TOTALLY underestimated the people watching opportunities on this cruise. Was some of the best entertainment of the whole excursion. seriously. What not to wear. how not to sit. which tattoos age better. what not to say. endlessly entertaining...

And speaking of entertainment, I went to one of the nighttime shows with the Holiday Dancers. Again, I was expecting WOW! and got just okay. The kids could dance. no doubt. but the singers were really weak. Seen better in the tryouts of American Idol.
I worked at Six Flags Over Georgia for six years. We had better talent and shows there.

I LOVE piano bars. Some of the best nights of my life have been singing and swaying the night away in piano bars. The piano bar on the boat was one of the few indoor smoking areas. HUH? I felt so sorry for the guy playing and singing in all the smoke. He was decent as far as piano players go and I don't know if he'd of had more of an audience if it was non-smoking or not. I think one of the keys (pun intended) to a successful piano bar is that you play a lot of songs that a lot of people know the words to. That was not the case here. Wierd songs I had rarely heard and did not know the word too. And I know the words to a bus-load of songs.

Karaoke night was fun. They had it every night - we only made it for one night. Yes, I am a Karaoke Whore and had a ball singing my heart out to Delta Dawn.

We had fun in Cozumel. Walked ourselves silly shopping and sight-seeing. The shopping was very Tourist Trap-ish stuff. We should have done a shore excursion and then bought all our tourist crap when we got back to the boat. Just about everything we bought out and about could have been purchased right there at the dock for the same price.

We did have lunch at Mr. Buffet's Margaritaville on the deck over the Caribbean. That was really nice. Paid resort prices for a decent meal - but was still very enjoyable - even if you don't care for shot girls wandering around and balloon hat artists and the wait staff throwing some waiter over the deck fully clothed because it was his birthday. oh, and there was a senorita with sombreros willing to take your picture - for you to BUY. I would have enjoyed this a TON more in college. Of course I could not have afforded to eat there when I was in college. tit for tat, i guess...

Insider Information you might not hear anywhere else:
On Carnival, there is a drink card you can buy. one flat fee (about $27 w/ tax and gratuity) and you can drink all the soda and juice you like. Otherwise - you pay for each one. and the drink card does NOT include bottled water. I saw one family bringing a case of bottled water and a 12 pack of soda onto the boat with a little wheelie cart. I thought that was silly. I was WRONG.

You are not allowed to bring liquor onto the boat. but ppl do in their checked luggage.

Clothing - I seriously over packed. Because I just did not know what to expect.
If you plan to sun bath or swim, packing is even easier. A swim suit or two and a wrap for the days is great - if it is warm enough outside. For this time of year, it can be cool and windy on the outer decks. and the inside has serious AC. I was most comfortable during the days in a nice coordinated work-out/track-suit type ensemble with a jacket I could take off over a t-shirt.

In Mexico - shorts and a t-shirt.Only one night was really formal. And that meant anything from feathers and velvet to nice pant suits. for men - suit and tie. I don't remember seeing any tuxes.

Most nights, it was what they called 'casual elegance' - whatever that means. Could be clubbing clothes, Sunday-Go-To-Meeting outfits or for some, starched jeans and large shiny belt buckles...

when you disembark, you will have the choice of having your luggage taken off for you or carrying it yourself. If you are in a hurry - CARRY IT YOURSELF. The difference could easily mean several hours. And if you have a plane to catch - it could be imperative.

However, if you want to sleep in, take your time and hang out in your cabin for several hours then have the porter take your luggage for you. The only catch is - you must have your bags packed and in the hallway before midnight the last night of your cruise.

We choose to carry off. The carry off-ers disembark first. Still, when we arrived at customs, the line was a mile long. S noticed a woman ahead of us that had been on 14 previous cruises and she got a porter for her luggage. There was a different line for porters and it was significantly shorter. So we tipped $10, got a shorter line and had help with our bags to our car. Definitely worth $10!

One of the best duty free/tax free deals was liquor. yes, i am a lush...

First off, the bottles were a full liter and not .750. So they were bigger. And the ones I bought cost about 50% less than what i recently pd for the .750 size.
If you are going on a cruise and might bring back liquor, swing by your liquor store and price out your favorite spirits before you leave - then you'll have a better idea of how good the deals are. I had recently bought several bottles over the holidays and KNEW I was getting a kick butt deal.

And you can only bring back one bottle duty free. I brought back four. (Gave two away as gifts!) bought them on the boat. and admitted it to customs and they did not make me pay duty on them. So I got four bottles that would have easily cost me more than $120 at home for $58 on the boat. Even if i had to pay the duty it would have been no more than $2.80/bottle - which is still a substantial savings.

There are stories to tell - a few, anyway. And I will share them with you when I get my hands on all the pictures.

in the mean time just know this - I have learned that I have pretty high standards.
Or maybe I am just a little bit snotty about things. I really don't know.
I was not at all disappointed with the vacation itself. It was as relaxing and enjoyable as I had hoped.

It was just a disappointing cruise experience. And if that's the worst thing that happens to me in 2008, it's going to be a GREAT year!

Hi Honey, I'm home...

Back from the cruise as of yesterday afternoon.
still unpacking and digging out from under with my work.

a fabulous time was had by all.
i have a list of Do's and Don'ts coming up for you...

Will fill you in on all the GLORIOUS details soon!

is.it.time.yet?is.it.time.yet?is.it.time.yet?

tomorrow morning - after I get the hubby off to work and the kids off to school, I am off on my adventure.

A CRUISE. My first ever. EVER!

I am so excited. (can ya'll tell?)

The literature says the boat has wireless internet access. I love ya'll and all but I will NOT be taking a computer with me. Nope. And I have every intention of turning my cell phone off as soon as I embark. International roaming rates are not in the budget.

I have about killed myself preparing my family (and work) for this trip and my absence. Sam's medicines refilled. Dosage schedules outlined. Family schedules typed, adjusted and retyped. Copies to everyone with their responsibilities highlighted. emails to teachers. bags almost packed. pantry and freezer stocked with easy to prep meals. ipod soon to be updated with cruising music and a book on tape. (James Patterson) smutty paperbacks packed.

It's a lot of work when you're in charge. DA-YUM!

So we are clear - I plan on doing NOTHING on this boat. ship. whatever they call it.

There might not be a single story to tell when i get home - unless some well intentioned purser tries to get me to participate and i throw them overboard w/out a second thought.

Taking camera. there might be pics. we'll see. no promises.

Bon Voyage, Ya'll...

nothing like piss & vinegar to start your day

Let me preface all this by saying Savvy was up past her bedtime last night.
As a result, this morning - she was not pleasant.
and that is a gross understatement of the facts.

She thinks on Fridays she must wear her cheerleader outfit to school.
I try to 'splain to her that football season is over, it's 25 degrees outside and she does not need to wear her cheerleader outfit to school today.

She persists.
"Fridays are SPIRIT daaayyyyssss." she whines.

I leave the room telling her if she can find it, to put it on and get ready to go. Mentally I tell myself she can freeze her patooty off and look silly for all I care. I did my duty in trying to avert the humiliation.

She cannot locate the cheerleader outfit.
She SCREAMS at me to come help her.

I ignore her.

She asks somewhat nicely.

I search the closet - the outfit is not there.
I am accused of packing it in the pod - which now that I think about it - I might have done...

but at the time, i denied it.
Told her to put on jeans and her cheerleader camp t-shirt.
MAJOR DRAMA ensued.

And here is where the difference between a typical kid (savvy) and a special needs kid (sam) is glaringly obvious.

Sam has meltdowns. Episodes where she is completely out of control of her behavior. She has little to NO CONTROL of herself.

Savvy, on the other hand has fits and knows EXACTLY what she is doing. She gives new meaning to the term "Conniption Fit." They say that only a Southern Woman can tell you the difference between a Hissy Fit and a Conniption Fit.

That is so not true. My six year old daughter can define as well as demonstrate the not-so-sublte variations between the two fits.

This morning, we got a full on Conniption Fit.

A screaming, yelling, crocodile tears, running outside the house without a jacket and screaming her bloody little head off conniption fit.

I feel soooooo sorry for the man that marries her. He had better be a Yes Man by nature.

I told her she could pull it together and go to school or sit in her bed all day. no books, no toys, no nothing. not even food.

"I'll SSTTAAAAAARRRVVEEEE."

"No, you won't. One day without food won't kill you. It's your call, Savvy. But you got three minutes to pull it together if you are going to school."

She went to school.
But the victory is hollow.

She brought home straight A's on her report card this week. (mostly A+'s - hate to brag, but I will.) So I bought her High School Musical II DVD yesterday as a reward.

During the heat of battle this morning - when her whining was making my ears bleed, I told her "NO TV TOMORROW WHICH MEANS YOU CANNOT WATCH HSM II."

When the whining and crying did not cease - I took TV away on Sunday too.

It is going to be a very long weekend.

And you can bet your sweet patooty that she will NOT be up past bedtime on a school night again any time soon...

just so you know

The problem with Santa bringing a six year old girl clothes is that IF the clothes do not fit, the parental figure has to DRUG aforementioned six year old in order to SNEAK the ill-fitting clothes out of the house and back to the store in order to EXCHANGE them for a proper fit.

As I am completely out of drugs, the six year old daughter went back to school this morning with TOTALLY groovy rhinestone and glitter Justice jeans held onto her little body only by a belt...

PostNote:

Gratuitous Shoe Picture For Pissy - the reigning Shoe Diva in the SEC.

You can kinda see the glitter on the jeans too...

a new leaf

I have been reading back over my blog entries for the past year.
It's been one heck of a ride. Kinda glad to see 2007 go.

One overwhelming theme from the past year is me being completely wound up in my kids.
bad, good, or otherwise - that's how it's been.

truth be told - i am a selfish person by nature. I'd like nothing better than to take care of myself first and everyone else can just form a line to the left. Hasn't been a whole lot of taking care of me lately.

The most selfish thing I have done the last quarter of this year is read a bunch of books.

That's about to change. First half of January I go on a cruise with a girlfriend. She is going on the cruise to study for her nurse practitioner boards. (seriously)

I am going with her to drink, read, sleep and pretty much do nothing else.
Rinse, repeat.

There is something else big coming up in my life next year that is all about me. I have started the ball rolling. I am planning to have bariatric surgery. Sometime in the summer. It will take me that long to meet the requirements for my insurance company.
I am DONE with this weight battle.
done.
toast.

People will say I am taking the easy way out.

I DO NOT CARE.
Say what you want.

I have done the hard way all I can stand. Since I was 13.
I have lost. and lost. and gained. and gained.

I have an unhealthy relationship with food.

People, please. anyone that can say they have ANY kind of relationship with food should consider that a problem, don't you think.

Think what you want. judge. i do not care.
I am going to do this.
For me.

and truthfully - for my kids too...

so much for being selfish in 2008.

And to all a good night...

t'was a busy holiday at our house.

shopping - groceries to feed 27 in-laws on Christmas Eve

chopping - food prep to feed 27 in-laws at my house

wrapping - no explanation necessary

cleaning - so the in-laws couldn't call me a total slob

threatening lives - the typical "Santa is WATCHING you" threat did not make a dent in my kid's behaviour for the entire month of December. I finally resorted to "IF YOU DO NOT BEHAVE I WILL SELL WHATEVER TOYS SANTA BRINGS YOU ON EBAY!"

This got their attention...

for about five minutes...

A wonderful holiday was had by all. I made huge pots of homemade seafood gumbo*, jambalaya with fresh beer bread and mexican cornbread for Christmas Eve. I'd rather do this than cook a traditional turkey dinner. And it was all a big hit.

*Note to self - when the Crab Boil says Concentrated, BELIEVE it.

So it's a little late, but Merry Christmas to all
And to all, a good night.

Smith - Christmas afternoon.

so tired, he couldn't even stay awake to play...

And The Oscar Goes To

The one with Middle Child Syndrome...

I do believe I have mentioned before that my second daughter, Savvy, suffers from a terminal and most severe case of Middle Child Syndrome. Also referred to in some circles as "You Love Them More Than You Love Me-itis."

I am hugely and painfully aware of her perceived disparity of my affection. And I work OVER-FREAKING-TIME to dispel this belief she holds so near and dear.

So recently, when she has showed an interest in theater and drama - i encouraged the HECK out of it. Told her that when we (finally) sell the house and move to the city - she can (and will) take drama classes, be onstage and BE AN ACTRESS!

Of course, as we all know - we did not sell the house as quickly as we thought we would - so her aspirations to be an actress have been placed on hold indefinitely - or so we thought....

a month or so ago, i got a note home from her music teacher about the upcoming Christmas program. Form letter thing - date, time and did we plan on our child participating.

HERE'S an OPPORTUNITY, I think! so I wrote back to the music teacher and asked her to phone me. and she did.

I briefly explained to her that Savvy had begun to show an interest in theater and if there was an appropriate part for her in the program, would she please consider Savvy for the role. PPPLLLLEEEAAASSSSSEEEEEEE. (we all know I am not above begging)

Music teacher told me that the older kids had already been given the speaking roles. I conceded, said I understood and I appreciated her calling.

A few days later, Savvy busts in from school - "I AM PLAYING NELLIE IN THE CHRISTMAS MUSICAL!!!!"

God Bless the Music Teacher!

Not being familiar with the Christmas character Nellie (except on Little House on the Prairie) I asked Savvy to tell me about her starring role.

"You know, mom - Jolly Old St Nicolas - 'Nellie wants a picture book...'"
"On the second song Mom, I don't wait for anyone to tell me what to do, I just GO DOWN FRONT! Mom, I just GO!"

This is HUGE to her. and I could kiss the music teacher for 'creating' this part for her. She even had her name in the program...

See for yourself this untapped youthful talent I have given birth too...
Savvy is front left in the GORGEOUS green velvet dress.

Little diva better thank me in her acceptance speech...

don't say i never gave you anything...

Santa, I can Explain (yeah, right)

Our Trip to See Santa - A Photo Essay...

Waiting in line...

Our au pair and Smith

Savvy and Sam - too cool for words

The picture. Sweet innocent "I've been good" smiles


And the real negotiations begin...

Oh Yes, I have been VERY good. Right Mom?

Not her, Me. I'm the good one!

Hey, I'm down here too. You big girls hush so I can tell Santa what I want!

After Santa, to the carousel.

Cannot pose for picture. Cannot be nice. Cannot tuck our shirts in.

Oh wait, what? You'll buy my a cookie?

Get over here you guys - one more picture...

But I ain't gonna smile pretty.

The End

MEME for Scarlett Wanna Be

Missy Scarlett Wanna Be tagged me for seven random things about myself. (go check her out, BTW. I feel we are kindred spirits in that she is Scarlett Wanna Be and I consider myself a Modern Day Scarlett. She's a great writer and funnier than hell, too!)

And since I am busier than a one armed paper hanger, i am cheating and copying an old post. It has been updated and is completely current. (forgive me SWB) Many more than seven...

(be careful what you ask for...)

1. i will be 40 in February
2. i do not believe in astrology signs
3. i do believe in God, heaven and hell.
4. i had a Disney childhood - stay at home Mom, Dad owned his own business- home for lunch several days a week. Perfect Grandparents. Vacations in Florida at the beach every summer. to the farm on the weekends for horseback riding and picnics.
5. i was loved completely and unconditionally by my parents.
6. still am.
7. my mom and i hated each other when i was a teenager
8. my dad hated both of us during this time
9. he won't admit it
10. my mom and husband were in the delivery room when my first daughter was born.
11. my mom, husband and my dad were in the delivery room when my second daughter was born.
12. my mom, husband, dad, cousin, brother-in-law and favorite next door neighbor were in the delivery room when my son was born.
13. we like parties
14. i have no modesty. none.
15. i had a tubal ligation after the third child
16. i was off the pill for three weeks when i got pregnant with my son.
17. my son was the surprise of my life but i wanted him more than i ever thought possible
18. i ate krispy creme doughnuts the night before my son was born and lied to the nurse about having eaten after midnight.
19. i don't mind shots
20. except in the mouth
21. i have two younger, good looking, hard working brothers. the 30 year old is not married - let me know if you're available and interested. i will post pictures. he will kill me for this.
22. everyone in my immediate family has a college degree.
23. my current career has NOTHING to do with my degree
24. i have wanderlust in my blood and MUST travel on a semi-regular basis
25. i went to Nicaragua when i was 9 years old
26. i remember first shooting a gun before I was 7 years old
27. i have been dove hunting
28. i never want to go again
29. i was and will always be a band geek - saxophone
30. i had the lead role in Arsenic and Old Lace and several other stage productions in college
31. i lived in Vail Colorado for two FABULOUS years straight out of college
32. i then spent seven of the most miserable months of my life in Baltimore, Maryland
33. i then moved back in with my parents
34. i love the snow and all snow-related activities - skiing, sledding, snowball fights, snow angels, snowmobiling - but my most favorite thing - is to just sit quietly and watch it fall from the heavens.
35. i have had my heart broken more times than i can count
36. the first time - i was 11. he was 12. true puppy love. and his family moved from mississippi to oregon
37. i am scared to swim in the ocean because of Jaws
38. i am generous to a fault
39. i am in the process of applying to my health insurance for bariatric surgery
40. i love my kids to pieces but sincerely believe i am a mediocre mom
41. i am impaired when it comes to balancing my checkbook
42. i have never ever, not even once done any illegal drugs. misused Mini Thins for awhile, but nothing beyond that
43. i have an addictive personality - which helps explain why i never had the guts to try drugs.
44. lost my virginity when i was 18 - to a guy 10 years older than me - who later slept with my best girl-friend. i hope he rots in hell. and if she's there with him, all the better.
45. i don't usually hold grudges, with the exception of #44.
46. i am not a jealous person. if you don't want to be with me - go.
47. i can drive a stick shift. my granddad taught me how to drive one - three on the tree.
48. i have been to a NASCAR race - camped at the track - and actually had a pretty good time doing it.
49. i met Whoopie Goldberg when i was a Sr in High School and she was AWESOME.
50. i have had backstage passes to several concerts.
51. one of my most favorite hobbies/past times has always been to seek out people as different from me as possible and pick their brains, get to know them, find out what makes them tick. almost always found that we weren't so different after all
52. i would like to be a groupie - for bon jovi
53. i love/lust jon bon jovi and would cheat on my husband with him if ever given the opportunity. husband knows this.
54. i came within seconds of proposing marriage to a complete stranger once. was backstage after JesusChrist SuperStar - with the original broadway cast. told my mom that if i met the amazingly beautiful man playing judas iscariot i would ask him to marry me. we met. i told him my plans for a proposal. He flashed his mega-watt, flirtatious smile and tells me he is waiting for the proposal and i chickened out... dammit dammit dammit
55. i am not shy. do not have a shy bone in my body. can talk to a fence post. and have.
56. i talk too much
57. was elected Most Outgoing my FRESHMAN year of High School
58. i have reconnected with numerous high school friends on FaceBook. i love them more than i ever remembered liking them.
59. i am a speed reader
60. i like to sing karaoke and have actually won a few contests
61. i have no tolerance for prejudice, bigotry, homophobia or stupidity
62. i found my first gray hair when i was 13 and have been a loyal follower of Ms Clairol ever since i was 19.
63. i can ride a horse - western and english
64. i met my husband at a funeral
65. i was a bartender at one time. i still mix a mean margarita.
66. i am too emotional for my own good
67. i have worked for the same company for over 11 years
68. i have a current and updated resume and it is not padded at all
69. i work most days in my PJs
70. i breast fed all three of my babies
71. my oldest daughter is a special needs child
72. i was a journalism major my first 2 1/2 years of college - but they insisted i be concise in my writing. concise is not in my repertoire...
73. my friends, especially from childhood, say i have impeccable phone manners
74. i make really good homemade guacamole
75. i love love love shoes and have 10+ pairs of black shoes alone.
76. fire-engine red toe nails - year round
77. no tattoos or unusual body piercings - except that my left ear is pierced twice and my right ear isn't. did it in Jr. high. never use the second hole any more...
78. i had braces on my teeth as a child. didn't wear the head-gear or retainers so I had them again as an adult - and paid for them out of my own pocket.
79. i love seafood - any kind - any way
80. i can shuck oysters with the best of them
81. i know how to eat crawfish. pinch the tails and suck the heads. yes, that's really how you do it
82. i make a kick-ass version of my Grandma's seafood gumbo
83. i believe in UFOs
84. i laugh out loud in movies
85. i love scary movies and talk to the characters in the film - such as "DON'T OPEN THAT DOOR!" or "RUN!"
86. i love being on the water
87. i eat my steaks rare
88. my son's first name is my maiden name. he is named for my father.
89. i know how to sew
90. my great grandfather shot and killed a man in self defense
91. my absolute most favorite thing in the entire planet is a long, hot, smell-good, uninterrupted bath
92. i haven't been to the bathroom by myself in my own home for almost 9 years
93. i am really good at it but i loathe ironing clothes
94. i believe shopping is a sport
95. i am a hopeless romantic
96. i drive too fast
97. my parents sent me away from Small Town Mississippi for 9 summers in a row when i was growing up to show me that there is a big world out there. that and to just get rid of me.
98. five of those summers, i worked at Six Flags Over Georgia, in rides. best five summers of my life.
99. i have no idea how to program the time on my VCR
100. i believe you can have it all - just not at the same time...

bah humbug

I am a HUGE fan of Christmas.

really i am. have never had a scrooge moment in my entire life. ever.

until this year.

and all my Christmas decorations, arts and crafts supplies, wrapping paper and even my winter clothes are in storage. because of us trying to sell our house and move. I packed it all up back in May thinking we'd easily be moved into our new place long before cold weather and Christmas got here.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

I have more Christmas decorations than Macy's.

okay, maybe i run a close second to Macy's - but you get the idea.

and i believe the wrapping of a gift is part of the present. I have all sorts of papers, bags, tissue, bows, ribbons, tags, gadgets and gizmos (in storage) to make my gifts the toast of the town.

So NOT having any of my supplies and decorations is really taking a toll on my holiday spirit. Don't get me wrong - I am putting up a really good front. Christmas is for the kids and I am too much of a boy scout to not do this right for them.

So next Saturday, on my 13th wedding anniversary, my hubby and I are going early in the morning to the warehouse where our POD is stored to unpack it and retrieve holiday decorations - I am only getting the tree, ornaments and stockings - and our winter wardrobes.




Sounds easy enough - but this is one of those 16'X8' pods and it is packed from top to bottom, front to back. my hubby considered it a mortal sin to send it to the warehouse for storage unless every square inch was filled to capacity.


Plus, one of my best girlfriend's birthday/Christmas present is in there and it will be like a needle in a haystack finding that. I bought it early last year and was so damn proud of it, I will find it and give it to her. And she better LOVE it. (or fake it really, really well!)


See, my Christmas spirit is tainted. warped.




I didn't even care for the picture my photographer did for my Christmas cards this year. Had to go shoot my own. This is what I am going with. What do you think? (and if you are one of the ones I send a card to, avert your eyes)

They are darling aren't they? I really do have to get my Christamas act together.

We're going to see Santa tomorrow. I told Savvy - who's really been on a nasty tear lately - "If Santa asks you if you've been good, you better not lie. It's never a good idea to lie to Santa."

Now she is refusing to go see Santa - as if that makes a difference to him. I explained that he already knows who's been naughty and nice. I told her the "Have you been good" question was just procedure.

So far, she's not convinced. This ought to be interesting...

i'm not dead

nor lost...

just been in HOTlanta for a week of work.
then been sick

and here...

Sam and Kasey Kahne

some overachieving moms are president of the PTO.

and some overachieving moms coach soccer teams.

not this mom.

i was first in line to meet Kasey Kahne.

i got there around 2PM and was literally the FIRST person in line to meet Kasey Kahne. (that's my empty seat there on the left.)

and i confess - i felt kinda foolish - until Sam arrived. and then SHE had a FRONT ROW SEAT! ahead of more than 400 other fans.

then it was worth the FIVE HOUR WAIT and looking like a complete GOON! me, the domestic haus frau, in my boot cut jeans and tommy sweater, not a stitch of NASCAR clothing on my person camped out in the #1 spot. i was perhaps the ONLY person there without some sort of NASCAR paraphernalia attached to me - planted at the front of the line for FIVE hours.

interestingly enough, i discovered when you are first in line, everyone feels the need to ask you how early or what time you go there (to get the prime spot.) after answering this question honestly a few times, i started responding with "about 15 minutes past crazy."


and it turned out good to have Sam up front for practical purposes too - she only did a very mild freak out when Kasey got there and we were able to get her in and out quickly before the crowds and noise could overwhelm her.

i wish i could put into words the look she had on her face when she first walked up to the store an hour before he arrived and saw all the people and the commotion. I caught sight of her before she saw me. She had just found out what her surprise was - that she was to meet Kasey Kahne IN PERSON.

you'd expect her to have this monumental grin from ear to ear. right?

instead, she looked completely mortified.

terror, panic and anxiety were molded onto her sweet little face.

one component in her myriad of issues is separation anxiety - specifically separation from me. and it hits her sometimes at the most unpredictable times. when i saw her walking up, she looked like she would be perfectly happy to have her long severed umbilical cord literally reattached to my gut.


then she saw me and her face glowed! beamed! she ran into my arms.

she was wearing her new Kasey t-shirt i bought her especially for the occasion. my mother in law said when she pulled it out of the bag and told Sam to put it on, Sam knew something was up and she jumped all around the house. mother in law is a saint. she has some serious back pain going on but insisted on coming up there to witness Sam meeting her idol.

MIL and hubby kept telling Sam how lucky she was to have me. that she should feel very special that i would get there early enough to get Sam at the front of the line. my MIL told sam that SHE wouldn't do that for her kids. i said, "oh yes you would." and she looked me dead in the eye and replied, "No, I wouldn't." and i believed her.

Sam on the phone with Aunt 'Lisa -

"YES! I AM GOING TO MEET KASEY KAHNE!"

in my mental game plan I had planned for hubby to approach kasey with sam to get her his autographs and i would play photographer in the background. he corrected this assumption. he decided that he would take the photos and i would talk to Kasey with sam.


which was a really good decision in some respects (the ones that count) and a really SUCKY decision in some selfish ways. hubby did not get NEAR the pictures i had envisioned. nowhere near what i wanted. (and i am trying so hard to not complain.) but if i had taken the pics and not been right beside her when she met Kasey - coaching and coaxing as she allows only ME to do - she likely would have wigged out and it would not have been a great experience. so i am content with the knowledge that the actual experience could not have been any better for her - even if the collection of pictures is sparse.

so Kasey arrived. walked out the front door of the store - so close sam could have reached out and touched him. cutest fella you can imagine!

we approached the table and i introduced sam to kasey - and he to her. i had given my letter to his manager before Kasey got there so I explained to Kasey that sam did not know she was coming to meet him until an hour earlier so i wrote a fan letter for her. he smiled at her sweetly. and as expected, she clammed up. wouldn't hardly say Boo to him, grinned a silly smile from ear to ear - and basked in EVERY SINGLE MILLISECOND OF IT.

Kasey signing Sam's hat.

when all her items were signed, her daddy reminded her to tell Kasey she'd see him Sunday at the race - so she did. and she paused. i asked her, "Sam would you like to shake Kasey's hand?" she barely nodded. he extended his hand, smiled at her again and took her small trembling hand in his and shook it.

and then it was someone else's turn to meet him. and we moved on.

(See the guy in the back ground - that's his manager.

The envelope on the table in front of him is my letter.)

This is Sam's I Just Met Kasey Kahne smile.

Can you see the stars in those baby blues?

* * * * * *

this morning, the first thing she said to me was "Thank You Moma. Thank you for letting me meet Kasey Kahne." she repeated the sentiment about eight more times before she and her dad left for the track.

and that, my dear friends, is the story of when Samantha met Kasey Kahne.

is this totally queer*?

(* queer as in weird, odd, geeky, stupid or silly)

i have written the following letter and plan to give it to Kasey Kahne tomorrow when Sam meets him. i know he can't read it on the spot - but was hoping he'd read it after the event. this is going to be such a HUGE deal for her - i just want him to know that. is that just too weird/odd/geeky/stupid/silly??? (in the actual letter, I put a picture of Sam in her Kasey Kahne t-shirt)


Dear Kasey,

This is my eight year old daughter Samantha - or as she prefers, Sam.

I am certain it is a HUGE deal for all of your fans to meet you in person & I am most grateful you make yourself available like this. I briefly wanted to share with you how BIG a deal it is for Sam to meet you & what it means to her to be a Kasey Kahne fan.

Sam has many challenges. She has normal intellect but works very hard to overcome ADHD, dyslexia, apraxia (a neurological issue that causes a profound speech delay) as well as the behavior issues that go hand in hand with the rest. She attends a private school in Dallas that provides an extremely intensive curriculum & therapies geared to her specific challenges.

Sam discovered NASCAR & YOU two years ago at Texas Motor Speedway. She earned a trip to the races because of her school work. We have 8 PSLs at TMS & each family member has their own driver they cheer for. Sam chose you as her driver (with a little direction from her Dad.)

At her first race, she did not leave her seat. Not for food, drinks, to explore & seldom for the bathroom. She did not fidget. She was transfixed. Through her headphones, she asks her dad repeatedly, "Where's #9, Daddy?" He helped her keep up with you throughout the race. And all this from a kid with severe ADHD.

She has worn out at least two Kasey t-shirts in two years. Is overly protective of her Kasey hats & sleeps with a Kasey pillow every night. And I do mean every single night. She lost the pillow once while she was visiting my family in Mississippi last summer. Pandemonium broke out & it NEVER happened again! (Her granddaddy actually put a nail in the wall by her bed to hang the pillow on.)

I know you have devoted fans. Some likely know every single published fact about you. Sam's not one of those. But she is devoted nonetheless. She's not into Disney stars, singers, actors or boy bands - you are IT for her. Rarely does a day go by without your name coming up in her conversations.

Meeting you today will be an experience Sam will never forget (and we'll likely never hear the end of.) If you have ever made the mistake of thinking that your life's work is only about cars, appearances, sponsors and the next big race - please allow me to convince you otherwise. You bring a great deal of happiness, excitement & joy to the every day life of one very special little girl in Small Town, Texas.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

*******************************

Feedback please. and QUICKLY...

there will be no dried ink

what i couldn't tell you earlier this week - what i wanted to tell you - but didn't want to jinx - was that we had a contract on our house and had put a contract on a new house.

the contract on our house fell through last night because the buyers could not come up with the funds. therefore we had to opt out of the contract we put on the house in the city. a GORGEOUS house, inside and out, pool, new everything, almost a half acre lot, et al.

the funny thing - i am okay with losing that house. not thrilled about it - but okay. i believe completely in Divine Intervention. and if we were (are) meant to have that house - it would have (will) happen. though i doubt seriously that house will last five minutes on the market. it is perfect. we put a contract on it the day it was listed. so for all practical purposes, we have lost that house.

but i have to believe that just means that a better house is waiting for us. something closer to Sam's school. or with a three car garage for the hubby. or one with five bedrooms instead of four so the girls don't have to share. or a better school district for Savvy and Smith. who knows...

what i am not so kosher with is the CRAZY STUPID IDIOT woman that tried to buy our house. it was to have been a cash deal. she was to have taken a check to the title company for the entire amount when she executed the contract. we signed the contract, got it to her and she never took it in. so we were left hanging for 10 days by this vile, evil, unscrupulous woman. last night was the end of her option period so she had to 'fess up that she did not have the moola.

the first time i met her, she looked me in the eye and lied to my face about having just bought a $750K house down the road.

fool me once...