Sunday, March 29, 2009

where's mine?

Since joining Facebook over a year ago, I have become reintroduced to a lot of folks from my past. High school, college, summer jobs, ex coworkers, blogger friends, even some family. It has been a fantastic experience. And I have enjoyed almost every single second of it.

But I have noticed a strange phenomenon. I had two really close girlfriends through High School and College. I am still in contact with both of them. The three of us made a pact in high school to graduate virgins. And we did. (at least they say they did.) We've been through a lot together over the years. Good, Bad and Otherwise.

They were the petite, pretty ones growing up. The guys were always crazy about them. I was the observer of their relationships. the confidant and advisor.

sometimes jealous. sometimes not.

now, I am certainly jealous.

I have reconnected with two different men on FB. Each guy dated one of my bestest girlfriends for awhile when we were teenagers.

One of these men told me about one girlfriend, "She has always been my 'What If Girl'?"

The other man said to me this just week about the other girlfriend, "I wonder if she knows she is the only woman I have ever really loved?"

WHAT THE HECK????!!!!!

Where's my guy? I want one. I don't necessarily want him now. I just want to know there is a guy out there that thinks he let the best thing in his life (me) get away.

Is that too much to ask? THEY got one.

where's mine?

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

cole crime spree

in the past couple weeks, Savvy has brought me some beautiful red tulips (bulb and all) she found blooming on the side of the road.

Now I know tulips do not grow wild but I could not figure out where she was getting them. I asked her and she told me from the empty lot "over there." She spotted them when she was riding on the bus. And knows that tulips are her mother's most favorite flower.

It was sweet, but suspicious at the same time.

So on Sunday, after Savvy had gone to Mississippi, the rest of the kids and I went for a walk. I asked Smith - where is Savvy getting those flowers from. He shows me. Oh Shit.

And while I can understand why it would look like an empty lot to a 7 year old, I KNOW it is the neighbor's land and SHE planted them.

I didn't say anything and we went on about our walk.

On the way back, neighbor woman met me at the end of drive. Super nice lady. We started talking and before she could even bring it up, I asked her if she had planted some tulips?

Yes, in fact, she had. My horror confirmed. My flower bed now contains stolen merchandise.

I apologized profusely. Told her that the child responsible was not present but would be coming to see her soon.
So Savvy doesn't know it but when she gets back from Lulu's, she is taking nice neighbor lady a pot of tulips.
It was an honest mistake. One of kindness and thoughtfulness.
Humiliating, none the less...

And then yesterday, Sam and I at the grocery store. She spies the bulk candy. I tell her No Way! in no uncertain terms. That it is stealing when you take candy and don't pay for it.

I turn my head for two seconds and then next thing I know she has a guilty look on her face and won't meet my eyes.
and this is one of those times You Just Know...

I made her open her mouth and sure enough - full of candy.

Okay. Deep breath. Teaching Moment.

I tell her when I get done at the pharmacy, she is going to the store mgr and tell him she stole his candy - AFTER her mother told her not to.

There is a small voice in the back of my head praying for a mgr with kids who understands the value of a good lesson.

So walking out, I approach the store manager, and tell him my daughter has something to tell him.
Sam is mute.
Raw fear in her eyes.
So I explain to him that I told her not to eat the candy, that it was stealing but she did it anyway.
and I saw the faintest upturn of the corner of his lips and that little voice in my head said "PHEW!"

Sam immediately apologized.
He asked her if she understood that what she did was wrong.
Nods, up and down.
And he tells her that her Mom is trying to teach her right from wrong and she should listen to me.
(I love this guy now!)
I ask her if there is anything else she wants to tell him?
She tells him she will never do it again.
And I believe her!

Did I ever tell you about the time she stole the tennis shoes from Nordstoms when she was THREE years old?

it's never dull....

Thursday, March 12, 2009

second verse, same as the first

So we lost the contract on our house today. The buyer cancelled it. After an inspection, appraisal, septic system inspection and much negotiation grief.

He said it was too much work.

No, really buying and selling a house is supposed to fun? You don't say.

We had just today made an offer on another house. One we liked very much. 1 acre in the city. Husband's dream shop. Had checked out the schools and whatnot. Were in the process of negotiating terms of our offer when the cancellation came through.

I think we call this back to square one. I HATE this.

Have also learned that before we can sell our house to another buyer we have to install a new 'county approved' septic system. Bye Bye $6500.

On the upside, I don't have to pack and move. I guess that's something...

Friday, March 06, 2009

taking care of second base

Been under a HUGE amount of stress lately - and not the good kind.

So you can imagine my amusement on Tuesday of this week when I discovered a lump in my right breast. which, I might add, is a small miracle in itself. I could have a Mini Coop in my boobs and not notice it on most days. (If you've ever met my chest, you understand)

So i phoned my OB/GYN Wednesday morning and she worked me in that afternoon.

And can you go in and just have them check your boobies???

NOOOOOO, you gotta have the oil checked too - far and away one of my least favorite activities.

And when did they start asking you to squeeze their fingers? I'm like "Okay, am I squeezing now?"

so she sends me for a diagnostic mammogram. That just means if they find anything with the regular mammogram, they can take you in the next room and do a sonogram right then.

Had my mammys grammed this morning. And Oh Boy was that fun.
Seriously, who wouldn't enjoy having their boobies smashed until they were 16 inches across. I am not kidding - i looked. the glass is calibrated. 16 inches wide 2 inches thick.

And I know why they mush them so tight - so you can't escape and KILL the technician when she tells you to inhale and hold it. Talk about wanting to Reach Out And Touch Someone! You are so relieved when she hits the Release button you forget about wanting to KILL her. Until she hits the SMASH button again. Vicious, nasty cycle.

So she finishes the smashing part and takes me to a private waiting room while the radiologist reads the films. She says that if he sees anything, they will do the sonogram.

So I'm sitting in there mumbling Please Don't Find Anything. Please Don't Find Anything.

And apparently they do. Find something.Cause I am off to the sonogram room.

And the same technician is in there that did my hystosonogram three years ago. She found polyps in my uterus. I take this as a sign.

So she tells me to lay on the bed. I do. and of course previously smashed boobies sag into the armpit. Some women compare their post nursing boobs to sports socks with tennis balls in them. I have stretched out shower caps with cantaloupes in them. And when i lay on my back, the melon is in the pits.

I have to lie on my left side so she can do the sonogram in the right place.
Sonogram shows nothing. Nada!
I show her where the lump is. Still nothing.

I'm like, "what the heck???!!!"
she then tells me that the radiologist on duty ALWAYS has the sonogram done on diagnostic mammograms. Alrighty then. (audible exhale)

So she finds nothing and then tells me she is going to show the results to the radiologist and he will come talk to me.

Okay - some strange guy is going to check out second base now. Not that this has never happened before, but it's been awhile and I wasn't prepared for this today. Seriously, I would have worn lipstick if I'd known boys were invited to the party.

As I am contemplating my lack of cosmetics, Mr. Radiologist walks in. Introduces himself and proceeds to feel me up with the sonogram wand.
I am thinking he just wanted to see the chick welding the 16 inch wide tatas.

He tells me - And I Quote, "You have fantastic breasts

I have been told many things by many men over the years about my breasts; this is a first. I have fantastic breast tissue!?!?!?!?!

He continues to explain that there are four types of breast tissue going from dense to not dense. in the case of a mammogram, not dense is best for seeing foreign objects. So what he was really saying that my boobs are see through - or something like that...

So he tells me I am free to go - no worries. Oh, but do follow up with the Breast Specialist. Seriously, they have breast specialist? I know oh so many men that would LOVE to sign up for that gig.

So girls - go get your girls checked out.
It ain't a lick of fun - but it's good for you!

Thursday, March 05, 2009

never been one for secrets...

Which might explain why I have felt like exploding lately....

Have not told everything I know - primarily because I didn't want to jinx anything or cause undue alarm. That is so not me. Have always been a What You See Is What You Get type gal. And being a WYSIWYG is not always easy or fun. But it's who I am. In my DNA.

So hear goes -
Currently have a contract on our house. Yes, Virginia, we have a BUYER!
We put a bid in on a house that I have been watching for nine months. Did not get that house. Totally bummed.
So now have to find somewhere we like and can move into within six weeks.
Have actually been questioning why we are moving. Is the benefit really there? (and it is - but it's just such a PITA!)

My next door neighbor and dearest of friends had brain surgery last month. Heavy duty 3" hole in the head surgery. And she is making a fantastic recovery - but still scared the living crap out of me.

Found a lump in my breast two days ago. went to the OB/GYN yesterday to have it looked at. And decided it was really sad when the most 'action' I have had in months is getting felt up by the GYN. Anywho, doctor believes it is not malignant but still have to have the mammys grammed and checked out further. JUST what I needed right now. NOT!

There are other things - minor in comparison - but there's more. Don't have the energy to go into all of it now.

And today is the most wonderful Mom in the world's birthday.
Love you Mom! Hope it is a fantabulous day for you.
Lord knows you deserve it!

Your WYSIWYG daughter