Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Olfactory Observation

I received some new hand lotion recently. And it stinks. But the scent reminds me of the Ponds lotion and cream my Grandmother used when I was a little girl. So when I smell this new hand lotion, I am taken back to bed time at Grandma's with us moisturizing our hands and snuggling up together in bed. She would tell me stories as I fell asleep with the scent of Ponds lotion in the air.

My mother wore Chanel No. 5. She hasn't worn it in years - but whenever I catch a whiff of it, I am six years old watching my Mom getting ready to go out on a date with my Dad. So beautiful and glamorous sitting under the hair dryer and polishing her nails. And the hug she would give me before they left would leave me in a cloud of Chanel No. 5. I could still smell her on me when I went to bed later in the evening.

My Dad owned a timber business. He would come home smelling like wood chips and sweat. He worked very hard to provide for his family. The proof of his work and diligence were evidenced every day when he came home to us in the way he smelled.

Lauren by Ralph Lauren smells like my Jr High boyfriend. He gave it to me. I always wore it when I was with him. We both smelled like it most of the time. And every time I wear it now, I think - at least momentarily - of him.

It is reported that the sense of smell is one, if not the, strongest of the senses. I tend to agree with that.

What do your memories smell like?

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

How do I say this...

I have this self image. It's how I see me.

Surely I am not unique.
Do you have one? Can you relate?

So here's the thing - when I analyze me, how I feel about me, how I feel about my physical presentation of self - I feel like I am getting better. I don't mean this in a vain way - just a statement of confidence way.

I look back at old pictures of me - younger. My skin was smoother. I was thinner. My hair wasn't as gray. You know what I mean - a fresher younger version of me. (or of you.)

But I think I am MOST attractive now. I feel more appealing now than I ever have. I don't feel the years pulling me down as I see in other people my age.

Sure, I'd love to lose some weight, be more physically fit, blah, blah, blah - but for some reason - I still feel better about myself now.

I look at those old pictures and see the younger version of me and while physically, she might be more aesthetically pleasing than I am now, that me didn't didn't know Jack Shit. To me, the beauty of my youth is lost to ignorance of self and inexperience in the world. And to think - I thought I knew it all back then.

Maybe this perception could be explained as living life, self awareness, finally making peace with my hair - whatever. There is a certain sense of maturity and confidence that makes me (you) more attractive to my(your)self.

and mayhaps others.

I wonder if and when I will get to the point in my life where my outer beauty (perception) will lessen for me. How will that feel?

You know what I mean?