Tuesday, January 12, 2010

How do I say this...

I have this self image. It's how I see me.

Surely I am not unique.
Do you have one? Can you relate?

So here's the thing - when I analyze me, how I feel about me, how I feel about my physical presentation of self - I feel like I am getting better. I don't mean this in a vain way - just a statement of confidence way.

I look back at old pictures of me - younger. My skin was smoother. I was thinner. My hair wasn't as gray. You know what I mean - a fresher younger version of me. (or of you.)

But I think I am MOST attractive now. I feel more appealing now than I ever have. I don't feel the years pulling me down as I see in other people my age.

Sure, I'd love to lose some weight, be more physically fit, blah, blah, blah - but for some reason - I still feel better about myself now.

I look at those old pictures and see the younger version of me and while physically, she might be more aesthetically pleasing than I am now, that me didn't didn't know Jack Shit. To me, the beauty of my youth is lost to ignorance of self and inexperience in the world. And to think - I thought I knew it all back then.

Maybe this perception could be explained as living life, self awareness, finally making peace with my hair - whatever. There is a certain sense of maturity and confidence that makes me (you) more attractive to my(your)self.

and mayhaps others.

I wonder if and when I will get to the point in my life where my outer beauty (perception) will lessen for me. How will that feel?

You know what I mean?

2 comments:

Reg said...

I know exactly what you mean. I'm forty now and maybe a lot of it is that I can look forty and feel good about because I AM forty. I'm not 25 and I don't have to live up to some screwed up ideal. I am forty with the wisdom and grace that goes with it. I look younger than forty but not in my twenties anymore. Confidence is always sexy too. Sexy comes from within and you, my dear friend, are very sexy!

Reg said...
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