Tuesday, January 12, 2010

How do I say this...

I have this self image. It's how I see me.

Surely I am not unique.
Do you have one? Can you relate?

So here's the thing - when I analyze me, how I feel about me, how I feel about my physical presentation of self - I feel like I am getting better. I don't mean this in a vain way - just a statement of confidence way.

I look back at old pictures of me - younger. My skin was smoother. I was thinner. My hair wasn't as gray. You know what I mean - a fresher younger version of me. (or of you.)

But I think I am MOST attractive now. I feel more appealing now than I ever have. I don't feel the years pulling me down as I see in other people my age.

Sure, I'd love to lose some weight, be more physically fit, blah, blah, blah - but for some reason - I still feel better about myself now.

I look at those old pictures and see the younger version of me and while physically, she might be more aesthetically pleasing than I am now, that me didn't didn't know Jack Shit. To me, the beauty of my youth is lost to ignorance of self and inexperience in the world. And to think - I thought I knew it all back then.

Maybe this perception could be explained as living life, self awareness, finally making peace with my hair - whatever. There is a certain sense of maturity and confidence that makes me (you) more attractive to my(your)self.

and mayhaps others.

I wonder if and when I will get to the point in my life where my outer beauty (perception) will lessen for me. How will that feel?

You know what I mean?


Reg said...

I know exactly what you mean. I'm forty now and maybe a lot of it is that I can look forty and feel good about because I AM forty. I'm not 25 and I don't have to live up to some screwed up ideal. I am forty with the wisdom and grace that goes with it. I look younger than forty but not in my twenties anymore. Confidence is always sexy too. Sexy comes from within and you, my dear friend, are very sexy!

Reg said...
This comment has been removed by the author.