here's your sign

so i am going to atlanta in november for work.

and i figure it's time to get serious and lose a few (or a LOT of) pounds so perhaps my business clothes will fit me when i go. haven't seen these folks in awhile and don't want to be popping my buttons whilst there.

so this morning - to get off on the right foot, i grabbed a cup of prepackaged fresh grapefruit - in it's own juice. (which is delicious if you add a pkg of splenda)

i open it, stick a spoon in it, take it to my office and sit it on my desk by the keyboard.

step away from my desk for a sec.

return to my desk.

go to sit down and as i lean forward just a bit in order to properly plant my bottom in my seat, my big 'ole honking left boob catches the spoon and flips the cup over onto my desk. spilling the juicy contents everywhere.

SHOOOTTT! i yell at the top of my lungs. (new au pair is here and i am not comfortable just yet yelling SH*T and F*CK.)

so i clean up the mess, suck down the last bite or two and go to drink the last few saved sips of nectar.

which promptly leaks out a hole in my lower lip and drips down between BOTH boobies.

now, i mutter SH*T under my breath...

i take all this as a sign.

i am having a candy bar and ice cream for breakfast tomorrow and then going to buy some new clothes...

the latest

so here's the rundown...

i have a sinus infection that is kicking my a*s.

the au pair is here and she is everything we hoped for and more. seriously. should have done this three years ago - i might still be sane...

we all got flu shots yesterday and my arm really hurts, dammit.

smith got bit at school by a little girl in his class. broke the skin. her mom called me and was mortified. i told her to lighten up. this is nothing in the scheme of things. (i had already called my ped - she said he was up to date on his shots and would live.)

smith threw a brick at sam's head and she has a nasty blueish-green bump on her forehead. the resulting bruise has taken a downward direction and she looks like she has a black eye. (you can see why the bite didn't rattle me so much.)

savvy has an IQ higher than mine. just got the test results. raw scores and all - but still - i see this as a real problem. and you can bet your sweet patootie i will NOT be telling her this.

in the process of negotiating an offer on our house that i seriously doubt will go through.

going to atlanta for a week in november for work. hope we aren't moving then...

that's all i got.

you?

9/11 - I Will Not Forget

like many other significant dates in our country's history, i remember exactly and clearly the morning of September 11, 2001.

i was home with a five month old baby, a two year old toddler and my nanny (from Lebanon). doing normal morning stuff.

when my dad called. he asked if we were watching the news. he knew i seldom, if ever, turn the tv on in the morning.

so i walked to the den, flipped on the tv and the first image i saw was the twin towers in flames.

then i watched them crash down - with thousands trapped inside.

i watched as the pentagon was attacked.

i watched brave americans perish in pennsylvania as they fought back.

i wasn't the mother, sister, wife or friend of anyone lost that day. but i quickly realized i had an intimate connection to the loss. i am an american and i was a target. my children are targets.

(this image quickly became one of my favorites.

The artist is Eliza Gauger, a (then) 17-year-old student from Bellingham, Washington)

and today, six years later, americans are still targets. we are no safer today than we were then. there is a great deal of propaganda out there that would have us believe we are safer and the war on terrorism is being won.

i'm sorry.
did I miss something?
war on terrorism???
was it saddam that masterminded the 9/11 attacks?

no wait! he was the convenient scapegoat that allowed dubya to avenge his father's failures in the first gulf war while at the same time lining the pockets of dick cheney.

good ole' bait and switch.
nothing more than a cheap carnival trick.

i didn't buy it then.
i don't buy it now.

what a farce -
and a pathetic tribute to the americans that lost their lives six years ago today.

it's not much - but I will remember.

and i honor you today.

**********

for a much better editorial by Anna Quindlen, click here.

the au pair

arrives on thursday...
not sure i could be happier!

she is a lovely young woman from Germany.
we have spoken several times and emailed endlessly.
she arrives in NYC today for a few days of orientation and training.
and then to dallas thursday night.

the girls are very excited.
savvy tells me - "this will change our lives."
i'm like - "yeah, that's what i am hoping for."
(cause your mommy is about to jump off a bridge if something doesn't change soon!)

still have not sold the house. interest has picked up. several second showings. a couple families really interested - but they have to sell their houses first. AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!

Just ready for this to be over with.
really ready.

is it thursday yet?

it's no big secret...

that one day i would like to write a book.

and i feel like i have at least a few of them (books) in me.

most of them i could not go on Oprah and talk about on national TV.

the story i am most likely to tell - in book form - is the one of being a mother to a special needs child along with two other (mostly) typical kids.

certainly not a How To - more of a How NOT To...

i struggle every single day with the challenges of this job. sometimes, all day long.

anywho - it's not a pity party i am throwing here. no time for that...

just wanted you to know that it may seem i am not blogging as much as i once did. and that is because i started a second blog (apraxia, by any other name) to document the day to day challenges with my daughter. these are my notes - in case i ever do write that book.