Friday, January 04, 2008

nothing like piss & vinegar to start your day

Let me preface all this by saying Savvy was up past her bedtime last night.
As a result, this morning - she was not pleasant.
and that is a gross understatement of the facts.

She thinks on Fridays she must wear her cheerleader outfit to school.
I try to 'splain to her that football season is over, it's 25 degrees outside and she does not need to wear her cheerleader outfit to school today.

She persists.
"Fridays are SPIRIT daaayyyyssss." she whines.

I leave the room telling her if she can find it, to put it on and get ready to go. Mentally I tell myself she can freeze her patooty off and look silly for all I care. I did my duty in trying to avert the humiliation.

She cannot locate the cheerleader outfit.
She SCREAMS at me to come help her.

I ignore her.

She asks somewhat nicely.

I search the closet - the outfit is not there.
I am accused of packing it in the pod - which now that I think about it - I might have done...

but at the time, i denied it.
Told her to put on jeans and her cheerleader camp t-shirt.
MAJOR DRAMA ensued.

And here is where the difference between a typical kid (savvy) and a special needs kid (sam) is glaringly obvious.

Sam has meltdowns. Episodes where she is completely out of control of her behavior. She has little to NO CONTROL of herself.

Savvy, on the other hand has fits and knows EXACTLY what she is doing. She gives new meaning to the term "Conniption Fit." They say that only a Southern Woman can tell you the difference between a Hissy Fit and a Conniption Fit.

That is so not true. My six year old daughter can define as well as demonstrate the not-so-sublte variations between the two fits.

This morning, we got a full on Conniption Fit.

A screaming, yelling, crocodile tears, running outside the house without a jacket and screaming her bloody little head off conniption fit.

I feel soooooo sorry for the man that marries her. He had better be a Yes Man by nature.

I told her she could pull it together and go to school or sit in her bed all day. no books, no toys, no nothing. not even food.

"I'll SSTTAAAAAARRRVVEEEE."

"No, you won't. One day without food won't kill you. It's your call, Savvy. But you got three minutes to pull it together if you are going to school."

She went to school.
But the victory is hollow.

She brought home straight A's on her report card this week. (mostly A+'s - hate to brag, but I will.) So I bought her High School Musical II DVD yesterday as a reward.

During the heat of battle this morning - when her whining was making my ears bleed, I told her "NO TV TOMORROW WHICH MEANS YOU CANNOT WATCH HSM II."

When the whining and crying did not cease - I took TV away on Sunday too.

It is going to be a very long weekend.

And you can bet your sweet patooty that she will NOT be up past bedtime on a school night again any time soon...


6 comments:

Scarlett Wanna Be said...

I love how you parent. I really do! I love that you don't give in, which seems to be the popular thing. I love that you set boundaries and you stick to them, your kids will appreciate that some day.

Good for you mom!

t_cole said...

scarlett -

THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!

I needed to hear that this morning. It is so hard to stick to your guns.

In fact, I was in line behind a mom at WalMart recently and her son was pitching a hissy fit about something she would not buy him. She was cool, calm and consistent with her No's.

He was drawing all kinds of attention to himself and her.
She stayed firm.
I stopped her in the parking lot to tell her what a great example she set for ALL moms and that she was doing the right thing! And I knew how hard it is to do this.
I thought she was going to cry. She thanked me for my encouragement.
I know why parents are not consistent and don't stick to thier guns.
It's FREAKING HARD WORK!

so thanks - i needed that!

buddha_girl said...

You did that woman a whole hell of a lot of good that day, Cole!

I had to throw Buddha over my shoulder and manhandle him out of fucking Hardee's the other day even though I'd brought him there for a "big boy breakfast."

Some fucking man had the audacity to look at me like I was abusing my kid. I will not allow tantrums - especially in public. My kid will not ruin someone else's time because he's melting down.

I did the same exit routine today when I picked him up from daycare but had smiles and nods of approval meeting my gaze.

Motherhood's a bitch sometimes. You are a GREAT mom. Do not think otherwise.

Anonymous said...

Hey girl. Way to be a rock star mom. All this AND getting 23 minutes into the day at work?? No wonder you needed Todd Rundgren!! (glad I could help out ;-) )

Thankfully my boys are past the tantrum days (14 and 16 IS past it, for boys right?? RIGHT????) but I do so remember them. Like at the grocery store leaving carts mostly full in the aisle because I needed to take them OUT.OF.THE.STORE.NOW.

She'll be a better person in the long run because you love her enough to hold the line now.

Big Pissy said...

I agree with everyone else: you rock!

...and you did the EXACT right thing...telling that mom she did the right thing was way cool too.

As a mother of a 29 year old and a 25 year old, I have to say that I think it's much harder to raise a child in today's world.

There's just so much more out there to influence them. I could go on and on about this topic, but I won't.

Just know that I admire you and the job you're doing with your kids.

{{{hugs}}}

~Pissy

Wien. said...

I'm back and catching up on your blog. Way to go mom with the limits, and consequences to match the situation. How did the weekend go?