I am completely inconsolable.
My MOM gave me permission to cry all day long if I want.
And I want.
Our au pair left today.
I have hurt all day long. could not put words to it. and i was thinking about her and memories of our year and i remembered her introducing hubby and me as her Host Parents.
Host Parents.
Parents.
THAT'S IT!! my child has left home !
and even worse, it's my favorite child.
When I could finally put words to my emotions, I told the Hubby. He said that can't be what I'm feeling. If one of our kids had left home, we would be partying! (And he has a point)
But I have an empty place. If you had told me a year ago that this 18 year old womanchild would come into our lives and make such a huge difference in our qualify of life - I would not have believed you.
My MOM gave me permission to cry all day long if I want.
And I want.
Our au pair left today.
I have hurt all day long. could not put words to it. and i was thinking about her and memories of our year and i remembered her introducing hubby and me as her Host Parents.
Host Parents.
Parents.
THAT'S IT!! my child has left home !
and even worse, it's my favorite child.
When I could finally put words to my emotions, I told the Hubby. He said that can't be what I'm feeling. If one of our kids had left home, we would be partying! (And he has a point)
But I have an empty place. If you had told me a year ago that this 18 year old womanchild would come into our lives and make such a huge difference in our qualify of life - I would not have believed you.
But she did. It was not an easy job. And it certainly was not often fun.
But she stuck with it and almost always went above and beyond what was called for.
When I was 12, I started going away for the summers. Camp, boarding school, summer job at SFOG. And I always hated the good byes at the end of the summer. I would more often than not come home crying. My Dad always told me if I had not had a great time and if I did not care about the people I had befriended, it would be easy to leave. And he was not telling me not to have a good time. Or not to develop attachments to my friends. I always thought he was telling me that this is all part of it. It's how you know that you really care. That there was something pure and good in the experience or the relationship. And that something or someone has meaning in your life.
But she stuck with it and almost always went above and beyond what was called for.
When I was 12, I started going away for the summers. Camp, boarding school, summer job at SFOG. And I always hated the good byes at the end of the summer. I would more often than not come home crying. My Dad always told me if I had not had a great time and if I did not care about the people I had befriended, it would be easy to leave. And he was not telling me not to have a good time. Or not to develop attachments to my friends. I always thought he was telling me that this is all part of it. It's how you know that you really care. That there was something pure and good in the experience or the relationship. And that something or someone has meaning in your life.
Daddy said the same thing to me today...
I have had a wonderful year. And I love her to pieces.
and my child has left home.
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6 comments:
“The only way to make someone impervious to pain is by making them immune to love.”
Not sure if I put that quote on my blog or not. Probably did, but your post made me think of it.
I'm sorry that you're so sad, and cry your eyeballs out if you want to. I would be. I bet your children are sad too. I bet she is sad too.
I want to say that it hurts to loose someone you love, but then again, you didn't loose her she just went away.
That year went by too, too quickly didn't it.
Sending you big hugs of support.
w.
ps. you have a wise dad.
Sorry T, hope it gets easier, but so glad you had a really good experience!
On your previous post, RIGHT ON SISTA! Talk to me when your kid has been to school with their special needs, when your kid has has other kids snicker and point fingers, etc., talk to me then about all you know about special needs kids, when you have to fight and beg for services in school, when you spend more time at doctors appointments some weeks then at work, feel free to ask me for tea then. But don't tell me it's a damned act of God ok, don't say my kid is eternally blessed because of it.
Sorry for the rant! Love you lots!
-Lil'sis
It is so nice to hear about Host Families who really care about their aupairs as a part of the family !
Kay
Great Aupair
Yeah. What my sister said!
I wasn't going to go there, but hell, she did - so I will.
Her daughter has been dealt a shitty hand in life but doesn't complain. My sister doesn't complain either.
Does that mean my sister should be running on the Republican ticket? What in the FUCK?
Palin should be ashamed of herself.
On the flip side - I am so damn sorry to hear that the final day has come and gone with your au pair. *hard hugs*
Are you feeling better yet? Just checkin' on ya!
w.
Awwwwww....I think it's so wonderful that you developed such a bond with your au pair.
What a great experience for all of you. :)
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