a new leaf

I have been reading back over my blog entries for the past year.
It's been one heck of a ride. Kinda glad to see 2007 go.

One overwhelming theme from the past year is me being completely wound up in my kids.
bad, good, or otherwise - that's how it's been.

truth be told - i am a selfish person by nature. I'd like nothing better than to take care of myself first and everyone else can just form a line to the left. Hasn't been a whole lot of taking care of me lately.

The most selfish thing I have done the last quarter of this year is read a bunch of books.

That's about to change. First half of January I go on a cruise with a girlfriend. She is going on the cruise to study for her nurse practitioner boards. (seriously)

I am going with her to drink, read, sleep and pretty much do nothing else.
Rinse, repeat.

There is something else big coming up in my life next year that is all about me. I have started the ball rolling. I am planning to have bariatric surgery. Sometime in the summer. It will take me that long to meet the requirements for my insurance company.
I am DONE with this weight battle.
done.
toast.

People will say I am taking the easy way out.

I DO NOT CARE.
Say what you want.

I have done the hard way all I can stand. Since I was 13.
I have lost. and lost. and gained. and gained.

I have an unhealthy relationship with food.

People, please. anyone that can say they have ANY kind of relationship with food should consider that a problem, don't you think.

Think what you want. judge. i do not care.
I am going to do this.
For me.

and truthfully - for my kids too...

so much for being selfish in 2008.

And to all a good night...

t'was a busy holiday at our house.

shopping - groceries to feed 27 in-laws on Christmas Eve

chopping - food prep to feed 27 in-laws at my house

wrapping - no explanation necessary

cleaning - so the in-laws couldn't call me a total slob

threatening lives - the typical "Santa is WATCHING you" threat did not make a dent in my kid's behaviour for the entire month of December. I finally resorted to "IF YOU DO NOT BEHAVE I WILL SELL WHATEVER TOYS SANTA BRINGS YOU ON EBAY!"

This got their attention...

for about five minutes...

A wonderful holiday was had by all. I made huge pots of homemade seafood gumbo*, jambalaya with fresh beer bread and mexican cornbread for Christmas Eve. I'd rather do this than cook a traditional turkey dinner. And it was all a big hit.

*Note to self - when the Crab Boil says Concentrated, BELIEVE it.

So it's a little late, but Merry Christmas to all
And to all, a good night.

Smith - Christmas afternoon.

so tired, he couldn't even stay awake to play...

And The Oscar Goes To

The one with Middle Child Syndrome...

I do believe I have mentioned before that my second daughter, Savvy, suffers from a terminal and most severe case of Middle Child Syndrome. Also referred to in some circles as "You Love Them More Than You Love Me-itis."

I am hugely and painfully aware of her perceived disparity of my affection. And I work OVER-FREAKING-TIME to dispel this belief she holds so near and dear.

So recently, when she has showed an interest in theater and drama - i encouraged the HECK out of it. Told her that when we (finally) sell the house and move to the city - she can (and will) take drama classes, be onstage and BE AN ACTRESS!

Of course, as we all know - we did not sell the house as quickly as we thought we would - so her aspirations to be an actress have been placed on hold indefinitely - or so we thought....

a month or so ago, i got a note home from her music teacher about the upcoming Christmas program. Form letter thing - date, time and did we plan on our child participating.

HERE'S an OPPORTUNITY, I think! so I wrote back to the music teacher and asked her to phone me. and she did.

I briefly explained to her that Savvy had begun to show an interest in theater and if there was an appropriate part for her in the program, would she please consider Savvy for the role. PPPLLLLEEEAAASSSSSEEEEEEE. (we all know I am not above begging)

Music teacher told me that the older kids had already been given the speaking roles. I conceded, said I understood and I appreciated her calling.

A few days later, Savvy busts in from school - "I AM PLAYING NELLIE IN THE CHRISTMAS MUSICAL!!!!"

God Bless the Music Teacher!

Not being familiar with the Christmas character Nellie (except on Little House on the Prairie) I asked Savvy to tell me about her starring role.

"You know, mom - Jolly Old St Nicolas - 'Nellie wants a picture book...'"
"On the second song Mom, I don't wait for anyone to tell me what to do, I just GO DOWN FRONT! Mom, I just GO!"

This is HUGE to her. and I could kiss the music teacher for 'creating' this part for her. She even had her name in the program...

See for yourself this untapped youthful talent I have given birth too...
Savvy is front left in the GORGEOUS green velvet dress.

Little diva better thank me in her acceptance speech...

don't say i never gave you anything...

Santa, I can Explain (yeah, right)

Our Trip to See Santa - A Photo Essay...

Waiting in line...

Our au pair and Smith

Savvy and Sam - too cool for words

The picture. Sweet innocent "I've been good" smiles


And the real negotiations begin...

Oh Yes, I have been VERY good. Right Mom?

Not her, Me. I'm the good one!

Hey, I'm down here too. You big girls hush so I can tell Santa what I want!

After Santa, to the carousel.

Cannot pose for picture. Cannot be nice. Cannot tuck our shirts in.

Oh wait, what? You'll buy my a cookie?

Get over here you guys - one more picture...

But I ain't gonna smile pretty.

The End

MEME for Scarlett Wanna Be

Missy Scarlett Wanna Be tagged me for seven random things about myself. (go check her out, BTW. I feel we are kindred spirits in that she is Scarlett Wanna Be and I consider myself a Modern Day Scarlett. She's a great writer and funnier than hell, too!)

And since I am busier than a one armed paper hanger, i am cheating and copying an old post. It has been updated and is completely current. (forgive me SWB) Many more than seven...

(be careful what you ask for...)

1. i will be 40 in February
2. i do not believe in astrology signs
3. i do believe in God, heaven and hell.
4. i had a Disney childhood - stay at home Mom, Dad owned his own business- home for lunch several days a week. Perfect Grandparents. Vacations in Florida at the beach every summer. to the farm on the weekends for horseback riding and picnics.
5. i was loved completely and unconditionally by my parents.
6. still am.
7. my mom and i hated each other when i was a teenager
8. my dad hated both of us during this time
9. he won't admit it
10. my mom and husband were in the delivery room when my first daughter was born.
11. my mom, husband and my dad were in the delivery room when my second daughter was born.
12. my mom, husband, dad, cousin, brother-in-law and favorite next door neighbor were in the delivery room when my son was born.
13. we like parties
14. i have no modesty. none.
15. i had a tubal ligation after the third child
16. i was off the pill for three weeks when i got pregnant with my son.
17. my son was the surprise of my life but i wanted him more than i ever thought possible
18. i ate krispy creme doughnuts the night before my son was born and lied to the nurse about having eaten after midnight.
19. i don't mind shots
20. except in the mouth
21. i have two younger, good looking, hard working brothers. the 30 year old is not married - let me know if you're available and interested. i will post pictures. he will kill me for this.
22. everyone in my immediate family has a college degree.
23. my current career has NOTHING to do with my degree
24. i have wanderlust in my blood and MUST travel on a semi-regular basis
25. i went to Nicaragua when i was 9 years old
26. i remember first shooting a gun before I was 7 years old
27. i have been dove hunting
28. i never want to go again
29. i was and will always be a band geek - saxophone
30. i had the lead role in Arsenic and Old Lace and several other stage productions in college
31. i lived in Vail Colorado for two FABULOUS years straight out of college
32. i then spent seven of the most miserable months of my life in Baltimore, Maryland
33. i then moved back in with my parents
34. i love the snow and all snow-related activities - skiing, sledding, snowball fights, snow angels, snowmobiling - but my most favorite thing - is to just sit quietly and watch it fall from the heavens.
35. i have had my heart broken more times than i can count
36. the first time - i was 11. he was 12. true puppy love. and his family moved from mississippi to oregon
37. i am scared to swim in the ocean because of Jaws
38. i am generous to a fault
39. i am in the process of applying to my health insurance for bariatric surgery
40. i love my kids to pieces but sincerely believe i am a mediocre mom
41. i am impaired when it comes to balancing my checkbook
42. i have never ever, not even once done any illegal drugs. misused Mini Thins for awhile, but nothing beyond that
43. i have an addictive personality - which helps explain why i never had the guts to try drugs.
44. lost my virginity when i was 18 - to a guy 10 years older than me - who later slept with my best girl-friend. i hope he rots in hell. and if she's there with him, all the better.
45. i don't usually hold grudges, with the exception of #44.
46. i am not a jealous person. if you don't want to be with me - go.
47. i can drive a stick shift. my granddad taught me how to drive one - three on the tree.
48. i have been to a NASCAR race - camped at the track - and actually had a pretty good time doing it.
49. i met Whoopie Goldberg when i was a Sr in High School and she was AWESOME.
50. i have had backstage passes to several concerts.
51. one of my most favorite hobbies/past times has always been to seek out people as different from me as possible and pick their brains, get to know them, find out what makes them tick. almost always found that we weren't so different after all
52. i would like to be a groupie - for bon jovi
53. i love/lust jon bon jovi and would cheat on my husband with him if ever given the opportunity. husband knows this.
54. i came within seconds of proposing marriage to a complete stranger once. was backstage after JesusChrist SuperStar - with the original broadway cast. told my mom that if i met the amazingly beautiful man playing judas iscariot i would ask him to marry me. we met. i told him my plans for a proposal. He flashed his mega-watt, flirtatious smile and tells me he is waiting for the proposal and i chickened out... dammit dammit dammit
55. i am not shy. do not have a shy bone in my body. can talk to a fence post. and have.
56. i talk too much
57. was elected Most Outgoing my FRESHMAN year of High School
58. i have reconnected with numerous high school friends on FaceBook. i love them more than i ever remembered liking them.
59. i am a speed reader
60. i like to sing karaoke and have actually won a few contests
61. i have no tolerance for prejudice, bigotry, homophobia or stupidity
62. i found my first gray hair when i was 13 and have been a loyal follower of Ms Clairol ever since i was 19.
63. i can ride a horse - western and english
64. i met my husband at a funeral
65. i was a bartender at one time. i still mix a mean margarita.
66. i am too emotional for my own good
67. i have worked for the same company for over 11 years
68. i have a current and updated resume and it is not padded at all
69. i work most days in my PJs
70. i breast fed all three of my babies
71. my oldest daughter is a special needs child
72. i was a journalism major my first 2 1/2 years of college - but they insisted i be concise in my writing. concise is not in my repertoire...
73. my friends, especially from childhood, say i have impeccable phone manners
74. i make really good homemade guacamole
75. i love love love shoes and have 10+ pairs of black shoes alone.
76. fire-engine red toe nails - year round
77. no tattoos or unusual body piercings - except that my left ear is pierced twice and my right ear isn't. did it in Jr. high. never use the second hole any more...
78. i had braces on my teeth as a child. didn't wear the head-gear or retainers so I had them again as an adult - and paid for them out of my own pocket.
79. i love seafood - any kind - any way
80. i can shuck oysters with the best of them
81. i know how to eat crawfish. pinch the tails and suck the heads. yes, that's really how you do it
82. i make a kick-ass version of my Grandma's seafood gumbo
83. i believe in UFOs
84. i laugh out loud in movies
85. i love scary movies and talk to the characters in the film - such as "DON'T OPEN THAT DOOR!" or "RUN!"
86. i love being on the water
87. i eat my steaks rare
88. my son's first name is my maiden name. he is named for my father.
89. i know how to sew
90. my great grandfather shot and killed a man in self defense
91. my absolute most favorite thing in the entire planet is a long, hot, smell-good, uninterrupted bath
92. i haven't been to the bathroom by myself in my own home for almost 9 years
93. i am really good at it but i loathe ironing clothes
94. i believe shopping is a sport
95. i am a hopeless romantic
96. i drive too fast
97. my parents sent me away from Small Town Mississippi for 9 summers in a row when i was growing up to show me that there is a big world out there. that and to just get rid of me.
98. five of those summers, i worked at Six Flags Over Georgia, in rides. best five summers of my life.
99. i have no idea how to program the time on my VCR
100. i believe you can have it all - just not at the same time...