i feel a rant coming on...

and i fear it's going to be a good one.

(and for the record - this has absolutely nothing at all whatsoever to do with my spouse. he has never even once been guilty of the following in my presence.)

it was either something i read on another blog, heard in a movie, saw in a magazine. i cannot remember. (which really annoys me) but it has had me stewing for a few days now.

but if there is one statement/mentality that really chaps my you-know-what, it's this...

"man, she really let herself go after getting married and having kids."

usually followed by other such heinous comments, as

"yeah, she used to be really hot."
"what a shame/waste"

it makes me want to absolutely scream and pull their testicles off.

and i can only speak from my experience. but here's how i see it...

yeah, well i was hot once too. before i was married. before i had kids.
when i worked nights and could spend 2 hours a day in the gym.
i was one RED hot smoking momma - by anyone's standards.

the problem with that, you see, is that my body does not have a tendency towards naturally SLIM or an ATHLETIC disposition.
to be smoking hot - i had to work my you-know-what off for it.
i had to starve. and i LOVED it.
at that time in my life. hey, all i had to worry about was me, me, me.
and i was exceptional at it.

and while i do not hold my marriage and children responsible for the decline of my physical condition, they sure as hell didn't help.

i got married.
i quit smoking - which i still miss some days.
i got a real job. days. no more nights.
40 hours a week and then some.
this man expected me to cook hot meals for him.
do my laundry AND his.
keep the house clean.
mow the yard.

sure, i can bring home the bacon.
fry it up in a pan.
and then some.

but so much for me me me...

but what i have found over the years, is this:
i can take care of my home, my spouse, my kids, my job, the yard, shopping, homework, school plays, holidays, car pool, and the tooth fairy.
and after all that, i come last.
it's not a conscious decision i made.
to put moi at the bottom of the To Do List.
it's not a decision that was forced upon me by anyone.
but it happened.

so my naturally not slim body - while it has carried me through - bears witness to the three children i carried in it. to the three babies i nursed. to all the hot, home cooked meals i prepared. to the fast food bought when i was too wiped to cook. to the nights when i was too beat to move, much less exercise.

and hell no, i ain't getting up early to exercise. my youngest is three and I JUST NOW for the first time in 8 plus years get to sleep all night, most nights. at this rate, i'll still be sleep deprived in 2009.

so to those self-absorbed, misguided men out there who still have their testicles, i say this -

if that woman gave birth to your children, cooks meals for you, makes your dentist appointments, phones in your blood pressure refills, sends christmas cards every year to friends and all of your family - even the ones you can't remember their names - then she hasn't "let herself go" - you fool.


she simply let go of herself.
and one day she is going to find that self.
and you'll be lucky if your sorry butt ain't kicked to the curb in the process.

okay.
now i feel better.

Post Note:

Big Pissy sent me this Link to another recent article on this very topic. as she put it, it is an exceptional "companion piece" to my rant.