Saturday, October 13, 2007

my near brush with stupid

tonight, my mom had a three hour layover at DFW on her way home to Mississippi from Oregon. So the kids and i loaded up and drove to the airport to meet her. It was dinner time. And due to all the new security rules, only ticketed passengers can get to the restaurants at DFW. So we just picked her up at the curb and headed to McDonald's. As Mom pointed out as I begrudgingly agreed to a meal at Mickey D's "The kids can play as we can visit." That sounded good.

so we got there. Made a bathroom stop and then the kids went straight to the inside playground. Mom said she would watch the kids while I go order dinner.

So I went and ordered our meal. paid for it. got mine and mom's drinks and brought them to the table. As i put them down, i heard Smith screaming. (and only mom's know when it is the real scream or the fake scream. this was a real one.) i darted over to the bottom of the slide where all the kids appeared to be, looked up the slide and could see my son trapped and panicked under other children - all bigger and older than he.

I looked at Sam and she was upset trying to help him. I first pulled on Sam and she would not budge. So I grabbed the little boy (b/t 9 and 11 years old) on top of them and pulled him out. Then I could reach Smith and pull him out. I immediately set Smith down and before even checking to see if he was okay, turned to the other little boy I had just pulled out to apologize. I knew i had not hurt him but wanted to make sure his dignity was in tact.

no sooner did i get the words "I am sorry, are you okay?' our of my mouth that this mountain of a woman came lumbering up to me and grunts,

"Did you just put your hands on my nephew?"

Not wanting to start a fight and wanting to clear things up immediately, i replied, "Yes, Mam. But i immediately apologized to him."

"Good" she snorted.

trying to explain myself, I said, "My son was trapped and I was trying to get him out."

"You shouldn't let him play in there if he is too little."


I am thinking to myself, he's three years old. bigger than most kids his age and gets the shit beat out of him regularly by his two older sisters. this kid is NOT too little for the playgrounds at McDonalds'.

"He's not too little." i snap back.

the gloves are off.

She started telling me how he was too little if he got trapped.

all I could think was that if your kids knew to get off a freaking slide when they got to the bottom instead of trying to climb back up, none of this would be a problem.

But I did not want to involve the kids, hers or mine.
She kept at me, I returned fire.

Finally I told her to "SHUT UP!"
She replies "You gonna make me?"

Then and only then did i realize I was dealing with a really stupid person that apparently was taking some perverse pleasure in spoiling everyone's good time.

I walked away. Sat my kids down with my mother and walked back into the restaurant to get our food. After a brief exchange with the managers and trying to find out if there indeed was a size/age restriction on the playground and telling them about the crazy woman in the play room - I could still hear her in there yelling at my Mom. Then she walked up to the counter with a cell phone and said "You da manager. My sister want to talk to you." Apparently she needed back up.

At this point I told them to bag up my food, I was leaving.

Went back in, got my kids and walked out. While sitting by the door, putting on shoes and socks, i could still hear her at the counter ranting and raving. "My kids were just fine till they got here."

and then i heard one of her kids out by the play yard yell, "you need to teach yo kids how to behave."

i am not kidding. you cannot make this stuff up.

At this point, i told my Mom that if I had to walk over there by her I was likely going to punch her lights out. So Mom sent me to the car with the kids and she got our food.

Mom tells me the employees apologized. whatever.

that woman and her kids followed out shortly behind us and were getting in their car when we left. I can only hope that the manager asked them to leave.

In the van, one of my kids says, "That woman was stupid." I always try to separate the person from the behavior and was opening my mouth to say "No, she just acted stupid."

Before i could draw breath, my mom responds, "Yes, she was very stupid."

this time, she got it right...


Wien. said...

Stupid, and a bunch of bullys too from the sound of it. You did a good job taking the higher road and setting a good example. I'd have swiped some catsup and put it under the door handle of her car. Now I'm thinking, how would she know which car was the stupid one...I guess you wouldn't. Oh well. Sometimes you just have to laugh at stupid people like that. Shake your head and laugh. Like you said, you just can't make that stuff up.
I hate confrontations like that.

t_cole said...

Wien -
you totally nailed it. I have run this through my mind a thousand times. She was no more than the fifth grade playground bully. AND she was setting a horrible example for the children with her.
I have tried fo figure out how I could have handled this differently. Of course in my mind, i would have liked very much to punch her in the face. But the safety of my kids and setting a good example for them was more important.
It's just surreal to think that there really are grown-ups that act like this. And aggravating to realize she engaged me in her childish melodrama.
Just glad it is over and we got out of there unscathed.

Anonymous said...

Well played, T_Cole.
And your kids learned a valuable lesson. There are times to stand up & smack some neanderthal in the forehead, and then there are the "Ghandi moments" where you take the high road and walk away.

Misty said...

UGGGG I want to punch her for you but I'm too lady like..however--she sure was STUPID!


Unbelievable..the audacity of some people. I don't know if I could have held it together quite as well as you did. Well Done..T!

Big Pissy said...

VERY well done!

I probably would have lost it and gotten my ass kicked! LOL

buddha_girl said...

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

First of all, there ARE size restrictions in those fucking tunnel contraptions. Her fucking nephew shouldn't have been in there. AND she should have been supervising him. Dumbass.

She IS STUPID. Her actions are merely a direct effect of her innate stupidity. Your mom is a gem.

I think your 'shut up' is quite possibly akin to speaking in tongues considering the situation you were dealing with in McDonald's Hell.

I only wish I could have seen it in person!

Three Score and Ten or more said...

I'm glad you didn't put her lights out. She is probably not stupid enough to forget to call a lawyer.
They're everywhere, theyre everywhere.

Anonymous said...

Go T Cole, Go T Cole, GO! Proud of you for walking away, and for admitting there indeed are stupid people not just stupid actions :)

Reg said...

This is another example of the need for state sanctioned sterilization. That woman will probably produce a few more little idiots to continue the fight for world domination by all morons of the world...

t_cole said...

Thanks Ya'll - It took me days to get this experience out from under my skin.
Your comments and encouragement went a long way to that end.