my near brush with stupid

tonight, my mom had a three hour layover at DFW on her way home to Mississippi from Oregon. So the kids and i loaded up and drove to the airport to meet her. It was dinner time. And due to all the new security rules, only ticketed passengers can get to the restaurants at DFW. So we just picked her up at the curb and headed to McDonald's. As Mom pointed out as I begrudgingly agreed to a meal at Mickey D's "The kids can play as we can visit." That sounded good.

so we got there. Made a bathroom stop and then the kids went straight to the inside playground. Mom said she would watch the kids while I go order dinner.

So I went and ordered our meal. paid for it. got mine and mom's drinks and brought them to the table. As i put them down, i heard Smith screaming. (and only mom's know when it is the real scream or the fake scream. this was a real one.) i darted over to the bottom of the slide where all the kids appeared to be, looked up the slide and could see my son trapped and panicked under other children - all bigger and older than he.

I looked at Sam and she was upset trying to help him. I first pulled on Sam and she would not budge. So I grabbed the little boy (b/t 9 and 11 years old) on top of them and pulled him out. Then I could reach Smith and pull him out. I immediately set Smith down and before even checking to see if he was okay, turned to the other little boy I had just pulled out to apologize. I knew i had not hurt him but wanted to make sure his dignity was in tact.

no sooner did i get the words "I am sorry, are you okay?' our of my mouth that this mountain of a woman came lumbering up to me and grunts,

"Did you just put your hands on my nephew?"

Not wanting to start a fight and wanting to clear things up immediately, i replied, "Yes, Mam. But i immediately apologized to him."

"Good" she snorted.

trying to explain myself, I said, "My son was trapped and I was trying to get him out."

"You shouldn't let him play in there if he is too little."

WTF!

I am thinking to myself, he's three years old. bigger than most kids his age and gets the shit beat out of him regularly by his two older sisters. this kid is NOT too little for the playgrounds at McDonalds'.

"He's not too little." i snap back.

the gloves are off.

She started telling me how he was too little if he got trapped.

all I could think was that if your kids knew to get off a freaking slide when they got to the bottom instead of trying to climb back up, none of this would be a problem.

But I did not want to involve the kids, hers or mine.
She kept at me, I returned fire.

Finally I told her to "SHUT UP!"
She replies "You gonna make me?"

Then and only then did i realize I was dealing with a really stupid person that apparently was taking some perverse pleasure in spoiling everyone's good time.

I walked away. Sat my kids down with my mother and walked back into the restaurant to get our food. After a brief exchange with the managers and trying to find out if there indeed was a size/age restriction on the playground and telling them about the crazy woman in the play room - I could still hear her in there yelling at my Mom. Then she walked up to the counter with a cell phone and said "You da manager. My sister want to talk to you." Apparently she needed back up.

At this point I told them to bag up my food, I was leaving.

Went back in, got my kids and walked out. While sitting by the door, putting on shoes and socks, i could still hear her at the counter ranting and raving. "My kids were just fine till they got here."

and then i heard one of her kids out by the play yard yell, "you need to teach yo kids how to behave."

i am not kidding. you cannot make this stuff up.

At this point, i told my Mom that if I had to walk over there by her I was likely going to punch her lights out. So Mom sent me to the car with the kids and she got our food.

Mom tells me the employees apologized. whatever.

that woman and her kids followed out shortly behind us and were getting in their car when we left. I can only hope that the manager asked them to leave.

In the van, one of my kids says, "That woman was stupid." I always try to separate the person from the behavior and was opening my mouth to say "No, she just acted stupid."

Before i could draw breath, my mom responds, "Yes, she was very stupid."

this time, she got it right...