absoutely nothing profound to say...

Yesterday was the big day. turned 40 and all that jazz.
The sky did not turn purple and rain down Ben Gay and support hose...

I got to sleep in - sort of. My parents have this God awful tradition of calling me on my birthday at the crack of dawn. It goes something like this...
"Happy Birthday Darling."
"MMMMFanks"
"Are you still in bed?"
"MMMHmmm"
"Well you woke us up a lot earlier than this (insert current age here) years ago."

I don't know why I thought this year would be different.
It wasn't.

So while I did not get to sleep late - I got to lounge around in bed undisturbed longer than usual because the au pair got up early and taped the kids to the floor.
At least that's what I think she did because they have NEVER in their entire lives been that quiet between 6 and 8 AM.

The night before, hubby and I caught an early movie - Vantage Point (4 out of 5 stars) then went to dinner at a wonderful local Italian place I have always wanted to go to. Au Pair gave me a gift cert for dinner. (she sooooo rocks.) It was early when dinner was out - so we went to see another movie. Jumper (3 stars).
So it was a late night.
And a fun one.

So after lolling about for awhile in bed trying unsuccessfully to go back to sleep, I finally sent for the kids. They ran in and climbed all over me in bed. And while I love the affection I am always amazed at how painful a bony elbow can be in breast tissue. Those mammograms ain't got nothing on my kids' elbows.

Savvy had planned games. So we played Pin The Tail on The Donkey - she drew a picture of a donkey, taped it to the wall, had a ribbon with tape and a blindfold. It was a riot.

Then we had a scavenger hunt and lounged around and watched Hairspray.

The au pair had planned lunch and baked a cake so I had very little to do as far as food prep. T'was lovely.

And in the afternoon - hubby helped me clean out my last flower bed of dead junk and leaves.
AWESOME GIFT of time and labor!

Wasn't it thoughtful of them to schedule the Oscars in honor of my birthday. I was really touched by that show of affection from the Academy of Motion Pictures.

And did I mention that I got Bon Jovi tickets? In the section right beside the stage.
Can you say REACH OUT AND TOUCH???

so um, yeah - you're going to hear about the Bon Jovi concert from now till April 12. And maybe a few days after that whilst I come down from my Jon Bon Jovi high.

hate it for ya...

my au pair is better than your au pair

If you've been by here the past few days, you know I have a pretty nasty case of the Poor Pitiful Me's. It's not been any fun being me.
until today...

Today - this morning - I had a marathon conf call/web-demo that lasted almost three hours. I did not have a chance to grab breakfast before starting. So when it was over at lunch time, I was STARVING!

The Au Pair had left to pick up the son at school and then take him for a fun outing. So I went off to the kitchen on my own to fix me some lunch.

There was a small pink piece of paper on the table that said, "Watch the stove."

And I immediately thought Oh SHIT! she left something on on the stove and I was supposed to watch it and surely it is burned by now.

So I looked at the stove and nothing was on. But there was a pot on it and another note beside it.

It said "I figured you'd be starving when you got off your call. I cooked some pasta, here's the sauce. Heat it up in the microwave and lunch is ready."

I almost cried. Someone had really thought about me and my needs and done something about it. Every now and then someone does something for me that is so thoughtful and completely unnecessary - like this - and I feel all warm and glowing on the inside. Like my heart is going to burst.

And that, my friends, is my definition of a Warm Fuzzy.

get over yourself

is what I would tell myself if I was my friend and knew what was going through my mind in regards to my 40th birthday.

for some reason - and i don't know why - I am spending an inordinate amount of time obsessing about this birthday.

it's just stupid. really.
i know that.

and I can't decide if it is because i am bothered about being older. i mean remember when you were 18 and 40 was ancient. I mean REALLY old.
Yeah, I remember that too.
now 18 seems unbelievably YOUNG!
when did that happen?

And part of it is that I would LOVE a big huge party with all my friends there.
But that would require funds we don't have. Need to be dumping moola into finishing our master bath so we can relist the house and move closer to Sam's school.

Pretty sure hubby is getting me the Bon Jovi tickets. And I am split on my emotions on that too. I really want to go to the show. I really want good seats. But again, the MATURE responsible adult in me knows that we should spend the money on the house and moving.

Tomorrow we have to pay a $1000 deposit for Sam's school. Just paid our land taxes - which are obnoxiously high in Texas because we don't have state income taxes. Money is flying out off the checkbook. Christmas was a Cash Only affair, both grandfathers and two kids have just had birthdays. So needless to say - we are cash poor right now.

so maybe it just sucks to be turning 40 and not have any discretionary income to do with what I want. At the same time being responsible enough to not go on a credit card binge to get and do what I really want.

Like I said - Get.Over.Yourself, tcole

Post Note - To those of you out there with real problems, I apologize for complaining over nothing...

10 things

My friend Misty challenged me to list 10 things that make me happy.
And I have been thinking about this list for well over a week now.
I fear my list makes me appear uncreative and shallow.
not that i care.

1. my son running up to me arms wide open squealing "HUGGY MOMMY!"
2. sleeping late*
3. long hot uninterrupted baths*
4. losing weight*
5. time spent with my girlfriends*
6. having the time to read a really good book*
7. samantha coming home from school and telling me she has a new word. (she only gets new words when she can pronounce them correctly 100% of the time)
8. going shopping and finding a really good deal
9. someone complimenting me on my children's manners
10. Having money left in my checkbook the day before payday*

* these are all theoretical because they never happen anymore - but if they did, it would make me very happy.

cold shower first thing in the morning

Last night I dreamt I had a serious make-out session with Simon Cowell.

For those of you living on Mars - Simon's the sharp-tongued Brit judge on American Idol.

Maybe it's the kinder, gentler Simon the producers are pushing on us this season.

Maybe it's the accent...

Maybe it's his manly chest...

I don't know.

But I can tell you this -

I will never EVER look at Simon the same way.

Politics And Religion

Yes, I am going to take a walk on the WILD side... And blog about Politics And Religion...

I realize these topics are taboo for many people in polite conversations.

However, for those of you that know me, you know nothing is taboo. And I am not alway polite...

And it may help you to understand my motivation for this post...

A couple months ago at my Southern Baptist church I had a serious disagreement with one of the preacher's decisions regarding the congregation of our little country church. While his rhetoric was spot on, his methodology for enacting said rhetoric was HUGELY and intolerably out of line.

So hubby and I decided to stop attending our little church. I was hugely saddened by our decision. I love this church but felt it was important to separate ourselves from the decision this one man made as it appeared to represent the entire church body.

In my despair, I emailed (on Facebook) several of my cherished life-long friends and told them about what had happened and asked for their spiritual support. And, bless 'em - they gave it lovingly and willingly.

And out of our very supportive conversation, an idea grew - we decided to do an on-line Bible Study. We selected a book and started discussing (via IM) a chapter every week.

So a couple weeks ago we were getting together on IM - waiting for everyone to join - a couple of us gals started talking about preferences for presidential candidates. The other two - preferring republicans. And I said - kinda tongue-in-cheek - "I try very hard not to vote the GOP ticket if I can help it."

And one of my dear friends - that I have known since childhood says to me/us - "I cannot talk about this with you anymore as I have a serious disconnect from Liberals."

ouch.

that stung.

and really hurt my feelings... (don't disparage my friend in comments - please - as I do love her dearly)

so I am a liberal. I mean I have been called worse. truly.

Growing up at my Grandfather's knee in South Mississippi I found myself Southern Baptist and Southern Democrat. The two were one in the same. coexisting. for all practical purposes, indistinguishable from the other.

when, exactly did that change? and has it? changed.

I can remember my Grandfather telling me how all the local democrats - on the state and county levels - created jobs for people during the depression years. Roads were built. people got paid. families got fed.
And this was VERY close to home.

These jobs created by the local democrats kept my grandfather's family and close-knit community from going hungry. And afforded some of them the extravagant luxury of sending their children to college.

There was no greater affront than for these kids to go to college, get a degree and come home a Republican. Lord Forbid!

But it happened...

And I heard about it. More than once, mind you.

People of my Grandfather's generation did not forget transgressions of such magnitude.

Many of my people in South Mississippi - Great Uncles, Cousins, and Great Grandfathers - were elected officials on the county and state level. On the Democrat ticket. Southern Baptist, all. My roots.

I was living in Baltimore, Maryland when William Jefferson Clinton was campaigning against George Bush. I remember a visit home to Mississippi and my Grandfather taking his worn, well-read Bible and sharing scripture with me that, to him, indicated Bill Clinton would be our next president.

He was so certain of his conviction he told me that if George Bush was elected president again he would put down that Bible and never pick it up again. And he meant it.

But Granddaddy and his Bible were right, lest you forget the results of that election...

I know you are dying to know what verses he shared with me - and there were several. But the only one I can recall is this...

God is talking to Abraham about his descendents - bearing in mind that Abraham's descendants are the people of Israel.

"I will bless those who bless you, and I will curse him who curses you; and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed." (Genesis 12: 3).

Granddaddy went on to explain at that time, President Bush had provided missiles to the enemies of Israel and had trained those enemies on how to use these weapons against the people of Israel.

President Bush had literally cursed Israel.

You do the math...

Granddaddy did.

People have always said of Democrats - All they want is more taxes and bigger government.

People, please. Who in their right mind wants more taxes? Not me. And I damn sure don't want any more government than we already got - 'cause we got more than we need as it is. Still, I am realistic enough to acknowledge there are some necessary evils...

But I am a democrat.

I reckon I must be a modified version.

My Daddy always said we didn't make enough money to be Republicans. That cracks me up. I have pissed off more than a few people with that comment.

So I am a Democrat. But I did not get here blindly. It would be easy for you to say I drank the family kool-aide and just went along with the inherited rhetoric.

Do I really seem the type?
to follow anything blindly?
seriously, people.

There's more than just my roots. I got some branches as I grew up...

Young Democrats in college.

Card carrying member of Planned Parenthood.

Met Al Gore at a political rally my Jr year of college when he was still a senator from Tennessee. My Dad and I chatted with him - just the three of us - for about ten minutes. I told my Dad that night on the way home I wanted That Man in the White House one day. And if the people in Florida knew how to punch a hole and/or count - I would have gotten my wish.

Personal family history with Trent Lott. I know what kind of man he is. I knew before everyone else did.

I won't get into the issues - but now you know my politics.

Call me a liberal.

whatever...

Now on to religion.
I did say Southern Democrat AND Southern Baptist...

You have probably heard people say "I was raised in the Baptist Church or the Catholic church, etc." I have said it plenty of times myself.

Well any good Bible thumper worth their salt knows that God doesn't have grandchildren. Either you are a child of God or you ain't. Doesn't matter what church you were raised in. Just because Momma and Daddy are members, doesn't mean you are. It's not like the Country Club...

Simple enough concept.

But it just so happens that my Christianity came to me via the Southern Baptist Church. That does not mean I am especially fond of Baptists. Even if I am one…

Most Baptist are wonderful, loving, God-fearing people. It's the few (okay, maybe more than a few) zealots that give the rest of us a bad name.

My church, growing up, was full of imperfect sinners. Even in my youth, I was not blind to the inequities present in our congregation. Black families that dare darken our First Baptist door were quickly invited to attend the Negro Baptist church on the other side of the tracks.

One of the deacons played a role in a lynching of a black man accused of raping a white woman.

We were encouraged to bring our rock and roll records and cassettes to the revival so we could burn them and rid ourselves of all the hidden satanic messages.

But still, in the midst of all this, I had the most phenomenal Youth director, who along with his wife supported me and the other youth in our church. We learned about fellowship and covering each other's backs. Our youth group did not enjoy a utopian existence, but for the most part - we were there for each other - at church and at school.

That Baptist youth group got me through many a rough spot in Jr. & Sr. High School. It gave me a solid moral foundation. At the same time opening my eyes to the inherent flaws in most organized religions.

and that being they all like to stand at the fence and yell:

"You're going to hell and we're not.. Nanny Nanny Boo Boo"
"No, You're going to Hell!"
"No, You Are."

So what do I believe?

Here goes...
I still consider myself a Baptist. guilty by affiliation.
But I am a Christian first.
I believe spirituality - through faith - is your personal relationship with Christ, the Son of God.

Thus Christianity.
Religion, is socialized spirituality. And it is Religion that often gives spirituality a bad name...

One thing that makes me a really bad Baptist - and I like to think a really good Christian - is I do not judge. I don't. And the good Baptists will write to me and say "we don't judge. God judges."

No, really, I have been to Sunday School with you folks. I know how you talk about all the Catholics going to hell in a hand basket. And how you like to poor mouth the non-denominational churches - and call them ‘Feel Good’ Churches - like that's a bad thing. Let's get something straight - If I can't go to church and FEEL GOOD about it, I don't wanna go...
I've heard what you say about people that drink. And dance and good heavens, the homosexuals.

JUDGE. JUDGE. JUDGE.

And I don't think the Baptists are all that special. And just like I can talk about the rednecks, I can dis the Baptist - because I are one. You will NEVER catch me talking trash about other denominations.

Still, I like to imagine that the Methodist talk about the Catholics and the Lutherans talk about the Presbyterians.
and so forth and so on...

It's someone's motto or I heard it in a movie -
"Kill 'em all - Let God sort 'em out."

me, my motto -
"Love 'em all - Let God sort 'em out."

good news - bad news

The Good -
Sam's fever is non-existent this morning. And no one else is showing symptoms of the flu. I take back what I said about the CDC.
I always said that you could inject Savvy with Ebola and she would not even get a sniffle. The child has a top notch immune system. We are seriously testing that theory this week.

The Bad -
In an attempt to entertain aforementioned kids inside this week, I put a king size sheet over my ANTIQUE dining room table yesterday to make a 'house' for them to play in. Thinking the worst possible thing that could happen is that they might bump their sweet little heads on it while going in and out.

That's what I get for thinking...

This morning Savvy tells Sam she needs to check the chimney on the "house". And we all know where the chimney is, right? On TOP of the "house". So I hear BAM and then Smith wailing...

I go into the dining room and my ANTIQUE dining room table is COMPLETELY upside down. All four legs up in the air. Sam had climbed on top of the table to check the chimney - as she was instructed to do by her bossy little sister. Her weight on one end, FLIPPED THE DAMN* THING COMPLETELY OVER. Scared the shit* out of every one of them.

Lucky as hell* someone's head was not crushed in the process. My dining room does not have carpet or wood floors. We are talking HARD CERAMIC TILES here peeps.

In my questioning rage of WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU THINKING that ensued, Savvy says - "she (Sam) had checked the chimney before...."

YOU MEAN SHE HAD ALREADY BEEN ON TOP OF MY TABLE????!!!!
AND WHAT MADE YOU THINK THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA????


* This JUST happened and my language choices reflect the immediacy of my angst.

playing host

my daughter, Sam is playing host to the flu bug this week.

lovely, huh?

4 AM this morning she crawls in bed with me sporting a 102 degree F fever.
And yes, we ALL had the flu shot this year. Apparently the strain making the rounds 'round here was not covered in this flu season's vaccine. Nice try, CDC. Close, but no cigar...

So it is only a matter of hours, really, before I have three kids, a hubby, an au pair and likely ME with the freak'n flu.

so before I succumb, a few follow up points from recent posts...

Hubby asked again what I want to do for my 40th birthday. Again, I tell him "nothing". I know I should tell him something - but I can think of nothing. Money is tight. I'd really like tickets to the Bon Jovi concert in April. REALLY good seats. I'd like that a lot. My foolish pride refuses to let me tell him that.

Super bowl with the in-laws was fun. seriously. 'cept for the beginning of the 4th quarter when I had to take a time out and bath all three kids by myself. Put them in their PJs so that when we got home, we could just toss them in bed as we walked past their rooms.

Mainly it was fun - and this is a gross display of ignorance here - because Eli Manning is the QB for the Giants. Until the day of the Super Bowl, I did not realize this. And while I am not a Giants fan, per se - my family (my Mom, Dad & brothers) are MANNING fans.

Archie's from Drew, Mississippi, for goodness sake. He played for Ole Miss. So did Eli. Both go back to Ole Miss and hang out in The Grove for football weekends. My brother was telling me yesterday about chatting with Eli and Archie last year in The Grove. (and yes, we forgive Payton for going to Tennessee.)

My dad was friends with Archie's coach at Ole Miss, Coach Vaught. My Dad has met him a couple times over the years at golf tournaments and such. And every time - Dad says Archie's just "Good People."

So through the years we have watched Payton and Eli and enjoyed their successes. I just didn't remember that Eli was with the Giants.
So the game was fun. The ending - phenomenal!

Okay - going to make some home made chicken noodle soup.
And prepare for the worst.
hunkering down
over and out...

yeah, I know

i am behind.
cut me some slack, will ya?

had work training class in Dallas Monday through Wednesday.
Dr appointment and the work-load-catch-up game yesterday.
And today went to Sam's school with pizza and cupcakes for lunch to celebrate her ninth birthday with her classmates. (not a word...)
grocery and birthday shopping last night (I missed the season premiere of LOST.)

so in other words, I am chasing my tail trying to keep up.
The weekend doesn't hold much promise to that end.
Tomorrow to Medieval Times with 5 school girls to have dinner.

Superbowl Sunday. (sigh)
if anyone has any really good excuses so that I can send the hubby and kids to the in-laws and stay at home alone and watch pride and prejudice instead - well, i'd be most grateful...

other than that, I'm fine. really.
how 'bout you?