Too Much For Words

Made it to the coast. to the beach. we weren't going to go to the beach. my friend and I. we decided early in the trip that we really didn't want to go that far. but the newspaper office we visited was less than a mile off the water. Highway 90 along the beach reopened two of four lanes just recently. at the last minute, we turned right, toward the water. we drove about 10 miles of it today. it is simply incomprehensible. it was as bad as I expected. it was worse. it was as all the media images have shown in the past 2 1/2 months. complete and utter destruction. the debris piles. the stench. the flies. the FEMA trailers on lots that once held majestic million dollar homes. American flags flying. bull dozers. razor wire. checkpoints with armed national guardsmen. the stench.

and somehow, I was numb. not unfeeling - but completely surreal. I expected to cry. as I have done so many times since Katrina hit. for the first three weeks, I couldn't even talk about my family and hometown without shedding a tear. but not today. not a single tear. how could I emote when I could not begin to mentally process the magnitude of the devastation.
overload? yes. disbelief? complete. sadness? overwhelming.

once, I allowed my imagination to wander and then to wonder what it would have been like to have been in one of those now non-existent homes during the storm. self preservation halted that brief interlude into "what if?"

my traveling companion today was the nurse in the ER at Gulfport Memorial Hospital during Katrina. this was the first time she had been to the beach since the storm. She said several times she couldn't believe how huge the devastation was - and only blocks from where she rode it out. She shared bits and pieces of her experience. I didn't ask many questions. I wanted to. but I know she will tell me what she can when she wants.

it was a day full of images I will never forget for the rest of my life.