last night - in the van, my four year old darling daughter proceeds to tell me - in a sort of casual off-hand manner that Jordan (boy in her Pre-K class) got in trouble for kissing Kirsten (girl in her Pre-K class.)
DO WHAT???!!!!
without taking a breath, i immediately start my YOU BETTER NOT BE KISSING ANY BOYS speech.
Have you kissed any boys?
no
Do you want to kiss any boys?
no
Do any boys want to kiss you?
no
so far so good...
so i pull out my secret weapon.
i tell her that if she kisses boys at school, she will get - (dramatic pause to make certain i have her undivided attention) - BOY GERMS!!!!!
EEEEUUUUUW IIIICKKKK GROOOOSSSSSS NASSSSSSTTTTTY
DO WHAT???!!!!
without taking a breath, i immediately start my YOU BETTER NOT BE KISSING ANY BOYS speech.
Have you kissed any boys?
no
Do you want to kiss any boys?
no
Do any boys want to kiss you?
no
so far so good...
so i pull out my secret weapon.
i tell her that if she kisses boys at school, she will get - (dramatic pause to make certain i have her undivided attention) - BOY GERMS!!!!!
EEEEUUUUUW IIIICKKKK GROOOOSSSSSS NASSSSSSTTTTTY
BOY GERMS!!!!!
and if she kisses any boy -any boy at all - she will get these Boy Germs....
and i add gravely - thus far, there is no known cure...
I remember clearly having a natural aversion to all things boy related up through at least the 3rd grade. wasn't until like the 5th grade that i actually had one (a boy) i wanted to kiss. and even then, i didn't have the nerve to go through with it - of course neither did he.
~ sigh ~
it wasn't till Jr. High that I actually kissed KISSED one and that first kiss was so awful it's a wonder I ever tried it again.
but this small child - the one sitting right behind me - the one i gave birth to last week - still strapped into a CHILD safety seat little - FOUR YEARS OLD - is telling me about her classmates kissing each other.
I observe her in the rearview mirror. she is sneering. obvious disgust on her face. a trace of fear even. i am a bit smug. she appears to have as strong a distaste for boy germs as i did at that age. the apple doesn't fall far from the tree here, no sirrreeeee. that's my girl.
and then she opens her mouth again...
"but Mom, I kiss Daddy and Brother and they're boys..."
SH*T! Cold Busted!
"Yes, but they're family boys. and that's okay. we're immune to their germs."
i am not going to be able to fake this one out for much longer...
i am currently looking for a convent accepting sassy four year old girls too smart for their own good.
and if they take house-training puppies, all the better...
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9 comments:
Don't forget to tell her about cooties! The cootie & boy germ combo is definitely a major concern for the Dept. of Health and Human Services this year. I have the reports I can show you. There are bar graphs and everything.
Hey, on a positive note, the kids did get in trouble for it.
E
E-
OMG, i made the mistake of reading your comment while i was on the phone with a work Mgr. got the giggles - couldn't splain to him why...
gotta work in the cooties angle now. had fogotten that...
and if you check out NoWhereGirl's last entry - there's more fodder for later discussions...
and sjc - i am certain we are going to get as good as we gave...
tcole
good idea cat!
we had a review session today before she went to school.
"And what do you tell Justin if he tries to kiss you?"
"That my Mommy will kick his butt if he kisses me."
"exactly! now say it again."
"my mommy will kick your butt if you try to kiss me."
and off she went, face wet with sloppy Mommy Kisses..
oh, and i did mention the cootie angle. that got her attention...
City Penguin tells me stuff like this about her first graders all the time...but PRE-SCHOOL?
That's just wrong.
I love "My mommy will kick your butt"!!!!! Too cute.
I came down
with cooties
at a young age
and survived.
My 11 yr old girl
is dreaming
of cooties.
I guess
there are worse things
to catch out there.
Dear GOD...this is hysterical. I teach 6th graders and have the very same conversations with the kids who constantly NEED a boyfriend or girlfriend.
I finally stopped mid-teaching one day and said, "Listen here, you can't drive, you don't have a job, and you can't stay up past 10pm without your parent's permission. Calling someone on the phone at 3:30 in the afternoon does NOT constitute dating!"
With that said, I know I have kids in my classes who have had sex. It strikes fear in the heart of all adults...parents or not. *sigh*
Keep kicking butt, tcole!
Crap. Verbose me. One more thing:
During a parent conference this past week a kid's mom told me her son had been writing notes to another girl in the 6th grade. Her son flinched when she told us she goes through his stuff after he goes to sleep each night. I demanded the girl's name and sat shell-shocked for a second before turning on him and saying:
"Do you KNOW her daddy? I know her daddy and he will beat you down. Stay FAR FAR away from her! Got that?"
My job here is done.
Awww that was such a sweet story.
kids say the funniest things.
BTW I have no idea what a cootie is ? sure I have heard of them from movies but no not what they are....
good blog entry...
What Exactly Is A Cootie???
hmmmmm...
bug, critter, vermin, nasty some-thing-or-other that you wish to avoid at all costs.
that's where i'd start...
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