two things....

1. we are puppy-sitting tonight. so in addition to our new NON-house-trained, pee and poop everywhere, i stay at home and take care of all day puppy, we have one of her brother's for a sleep-over. No, they are not sleeping in my bed. but i digress. i am trying to be brief. Dang, it's painful.

did i ever tell you that one of my mom's friends told me that if i could find a job where they would pay me to talk - i'd be a very rich woman. I'm still looking. again, digression. my apologies...

so they - the puppies - are playing in the kitchen. husband says - and i quote - "we should get another one so she has someone to play with."
i take one look at him, ascertain he is half-way serious and then tell him "stop talking to me." He opens his mouth again and i all but yell "GO AWAY FROM ME SPAWN OF SATAN!"


2. my daughters are professional whiners. the sound of their whining goes straight through me - like a dull hatchet. every day. makes be batty. i have yet to come up with a method for stopping or reducing it. i try different tricks on a regular basis. tonight, in a vain attempt to have daughter #1 cease and desist on the whinnnninnnnggg, i finally ask her through clinched teeth - "Do you want a Happy Mommy or a Mad & Crazy Mommy????"

her dead pan, perfect timing, non-whining response...
"a Happy Crazy Mommy"

i wasn't aware that was an option...
cool.