there's a reason...

why i tell you it's never dull around here...

must be brief. must be brief. must be brief.
(yeah, right - sit back and get comfy..)

BIG INHALE -

Demo went very well - yeah, the one i got up at 3am to finish the prep work on. the one i scripted out to the n'th degree. with a software demo - you leave NOTHING to chance. all data is defined perfectly. transactions set up. processes run ahead of time. you want your product to be showcased PERFECTLY in front of your client.
Rule #1. PREPARE FLAWLESS SCRIPT!
Rule #2. STICK TO THE SCRIPT!!!

Rule #2 - broken 24 minutes and 45 seconds into tediously prepared demo...

had to be done - sincerely - as the big dog in the room wanted to see something else. and for the record, i did fabulous. i have worked with this product for 10+ years and can fly by the seat of my pants with the best of 'em. but about 10 minutes after getting off script, i got the giggles. it occurred to me that i could have slept till 6am - if i had known we weren't going to use a script...
i squashed the giggles - only my partner saw me screw up my face at the irony - but DANG! i do love my sleep...

anyway - we pulled it off beautifully. i went shopping a bit that afternoon and then headed to the airport early for my 7pm flight - thought there might be a remote possibility i could go standby on an earlier flight. not only did i not go standby, they cancelled my flight from nashville to dallas. no joke. an ice storm was due into big d last night.

i figure there has to be another airline - some way they can get me close to dallas. oklahoma city. houston, amarillo.

and in case you haven't guessed, i am not one to take NO for an answer. so i say to the lady, "ticket counter lady - i don't think you understand. my precious angel baby son turns two tomorrow and i have 20 people coming over for dinner. i HAVE to go home tonight." ~ best sweet southern belle smile ~

she tells me that she has been working with over 200 people for the past 2 hours and there are no flights going anywhere near dallas out of nashville. methinks i am hearing 'no.'

i tell her that if she had given me this news on any other day of the year, it would be a blessing - another 24 hours away from home with nothing to do except sit around and rest - would be HEAVEN! but i HAD to be home for my little boy. no dice she politely informs me.

she then tells me they have rebooked me on a flight that will get me back to my house tonight (SATURDAY) after 8pm. no, No, NO i say - that will never work.

ok. Plan B. how about a flight out of atlanta in the morning??? can you put me on one of those?

YES! finally a yes. of course there are no seats available to atlanta from Nashville... but i am a resourceful girl. book the flight from atlanta, i tell her. i then run down and get a (another!) rental car and DRIVE 4 hours to Atlanta. on three hours sleep. stopped twice to buy one of those 'natural' energy drinks that cost about $8 ea. (mild exaggeration). i don't know how they can call them 'natural' when they make your pee glow in the dark for two days. seriously. but they work.

Big Pissy missed out on untold redneck sightings in those two stops. you gotta wonder if they actually pay these people to hang out at quick stops along the highway in southern towns to add ambiance to the experience... Holy Crap!

there ain't one decent radio station between nashville and atlanta. not one.
spent 80% of the trip on my cell phone. can you say ROAMING CHARGES?!?!

got a room at the atlanta airport marriott. there was a pre-teen cheerleader convention going on. again, not kidding. you can't make this stuff up. i begged the lady at the front desk to put me as far away from the hyper little darlings as possible. and bless her, she did.

got to my room. and it was there i encountered the most beautiful and comfortable bed i have seen in years. grant you, it could have had dirty linens on it and pine needles in it, and it would have still been the most beautiful and comfortable bed i had seen in years...

so i slept for what seemed like 5 minutes, showered - only because my hair looked like a matted mess, threw a tad of gel in my hair, brushed my teeth, jumped in my clothes and shot out to catch my flight. late. no makeup. no lipstick. no contacts. same socks for three days now. i actually thought about this because the above actions caused me to break at least seven cardinal sins from the southern belle code of conduct for public dressing. i rationalized my decision by thinking NO ONE would be at the airport at 5AM on a Saturday. i was so wrong. so very, very wrong.

missed the turn for the rental car return. flew through the terminal drop off, back around, slowed down at avis, jumped out and dove onto waiting bus for short trip to terminal. construction at the airport meant i had to run/walk from one end of the main terminal at Hartsfield to the OTHER end. and if you have never had the fortune to go to hartsfield, let it be known that it spans half the great state of georgia. it has been said that you can put your back at Hartsfield, drive away and you will drive back into the airport. it's that d*mn big. not kidding. and not crowded? more people here than at the Daytona 500 on opening race day. stood in line 10 minutes to check in with a stinking computer that didn't have my travel record.

another 25 minutes to go through security. disadvantage to traveling on a saturday morning - no business travelers. families with kids. they don't know how to efficiently go through a security checkpoint. 10 minutes before it was my turn to go through, i already had my laptop out, shoes off, jewelry tucked away (yes, i did have my jewels on - i do have some standards...) and had stripped down to my bra and panties. they matched too, btw. (again, southern belle code of conduct)

ran through the x-ray thing, grabbed my shoes, purse, laptop and bag and run the 50 feet to the gate. once they scanned my boarding pass, i stop and get redressed. was one of the last ones on the plane. FULL FLIGHT. again, me, no makeup or lipstick, hair askew and now i STINK from running through the biggest airport in the SEC.

DO I CARE? NOPE. NO. NADA. NEGATORY. NEVER.

slept the whole way home - right after i told the 14 year old beside me to elbow me if i happened to snore or drool.

what went right - demo. shopping. bed at marriott. not seeing anyone i knew at the airport. bulkhead seat. arrival gate in dallas right by my van. having my two youngest kids safe and happy with a girlfriend i would trust with my life - sincerely. my mother in law with the oldest child - and CLEANING MY HOUSE! dinner party (KC and pixie - details to follow on this later, promise)

what REALLY went right - picking up my kids at my friends house. she opens the door. steps to the side. "Smith, look who's here to get you..."

he sees me. GLOWS! and runs into my open arms and gives me big boy hugs and kisses. i know it was worth every bit of heartache and trouble to get home to him on his birthday.

Happy

Second

Birthday

Son.

Mommy would move heaven and earth for you.

and has...